Harry's Ultra Large Kind
by witowsmp
Summary: Harry Potter, Hogwarts student, the Boy-Who-Lived, fighting to save Hermione Granger's life. Then an accidental exposure to troll blood alters his body chemistry... (It's not a complete crossover, but I think it's close enough to be of interest to Hulk fans.)
1. 1 Accidental Exposure

Harry Potter and all characters, etc. belong to J.K. Rowling, not me.

The Incredible Hulk belongs to Marvel.

**Harry's Ultra Large Kind – Chapter 1 – Accidental Exposure**

_The beginning of this story is a brief summary of Harry's first year at Hogwarts, with a few noted modifications._

Harry Potter did something that was both very brave and very stupid. It was Halloween during his first year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and he was attempting to save another first-year - a bushy-haired, bucktoothed girl named Hermione Granger - from a mountain troll that had somehow gotten into Hogwarts. While his red-headed friend Ron Weasley watched, Harry ran toward the troll that was breaking everything it could find in the girls' lavatory with a huge club.

Just before Harry reached the troll, a piece of the sink hit his right hand, cutting it. Ignoring the minor injury, he jumped onto the troll's back, accidentally sticking his magic wand up the troll's nose, causing it to bleed. What Harry didn't notice was that some of its blood got into Harry's open cut.

The dangerous situation was soon dealt with by Ron managing to levitate the troll's club high enough to drop on its own head, knocking it out. The teachers then arrived, now that the danger was over, and soon the kids were allowed to return to Gryffindor Tower. The school year proceeded from that time without Harry giving a second thought to the small cut that had quickly healed, certainly not realizing that his life had been altered forever.

It was a few days later that Harry played his first Quidditch match, and it was against Slytherin. He followed his instructions from the team captain – Oliver Wood – to fly above the match until he caught sight of the golden Snitch he needed to catch in order to end the game. Everything was going fine until, without warning, his broom gave a sudden, frightening lurch. For a split second, he thought he was going to fall. He gripped the broom tightly with both his hands and knees. He'd never felt anything like that.

It happened again. It was as though the broom was trying to buck him off. Harry tried to turn the broom to seek help, but couldn't. His brand new Nimbus 2000 kept trying to unseat him until a wild jerk managed it. He fell off his broom, but managed to grab onto it for dear life. As the Nimbus kept trying to make him lose his grip, he got more angry and scared by the second. For a brief moment, his green eyes started glowing, but then stopped. Harry soon realized his broom wasn't trying to murder him anymore. He climbed back onto the broomstick as his heart rate lessened. He then caught sight of the evasive Snitch and managed to catch it, but not in his hands as was normal. He caught his first golden Snitch in his mouth.

Several months later, Harry wound up in a detention in the forbidden forest, all because of Hagrid and his pet dragon, which thankfully had been taken from Scotland to Romania. Something had been killing the unicorns, so naturally first-years in detention were brought in to investigate in the middle of the night. Harry was currently stuck with Draco Malfoy and Hagrid's cowardly dog, Fang.

They managed to stumble upon the scariest sight Harry had ever seen. Some cloaked figure was drinking the blood of a unicorn. Malfoy and Fang immediately ran off. When he looked up, Harry felt pain in his curse-scar on his forehead and fell backwards. As he watched his attacker approach, Harry felt like something inside him was desperate to burst forth, but something was holding it back. That feeling went away as a centaur named Firenze got between him and what he'd later learn was Voldemort.

It wasn't long after that Harry found himself facing Voldemort again. This time the Dark Lord's face was sticking out of the back of Professor Quirrel's head. As the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor grabbed him, Quirrel's hands began to burn. As Harry pushed his hands on his attacker's face, he felt a surge of magical power flowing through him.

Unknown to Harry, it was altering the troll blood in his veins, giving it the power to cause a metamorphosis to occur in times of great pain or anger. His first transformation was about to occur, when Harry fainted from magical exhaustion. He was found unconscious a few minutes later by Headmaster Dumbledore, who took him to the Hospital Wing, where he remained until the closing feast. Then, not knowing that he was now literally one-of-a-kind, an ultra-large-kind at that, Harry Potter returned home to the Dursleys.

-HULK-

A/N This story was inspired by the TV movie from the 80's, "The Incredible Hulk Returns." In the movie, Thor repeatedly refers to the Hulk as a troll. It got me thinking…


	2. 2 Metamorphosis

Harry Potter and all characters, etc. belong to J.K. Rowling, not me.

The Incredible Hulk belongs to Marvel.

**Harry's Ultra Large Kind – Chapter 2 – Metamorphosis**

"_Look into the mirror and tell me what you see,"_ _commanded Quirrel. Harry had no choice but to comply with the man possessed by Voldemort._

Harry Potter didn't realize it, but he wasn't anywhere near the Mirror of Erised, not even close to Hogwarts. In fact, he was in the most non-magical place he could imagine – lying in bed asleep at Number 4 Privet Drive, the home of the Dursleys, in Dudley's second bedroom.

He'd returned from Hogwarts only a week before. The first thing the Dursleys had done was to lock all his Wizarding supplies in the cupboard under the stairs that used to be his bedroom. His owl, Hedwig, was locked in a cage in his room, frequently making noise because she wasn't used to being locked up like a prisoner. She'd spent ten months in the Hogwarts Owlery, where she could come and go as she pleased. Now, Vernon Dursley couldn't understand why she was so upset.

Harry had been spending his days doing chores from sunup to sundown, getting meager meals that barely kept him alive before going to bed. He was currently reliving his last encounter with Voldemort in his mind.

"_Let me speak to him…face-to-face…." The voice came from underneath the Defense Professor's turban._

"_Master, you are not strong enough," replied Quirrel._

"_I have strength enough…for this…."_

_Professor Quirrel then unraveled his turban to reveal the face of Voldemort, and Harry felt true fear._

Suddenly, the slumbering figure's green eyes opened and began to glow. His skin complexion began to match his eyes before he began growing. It was lucky Harry had been wearing his cousin Dudley's castoff pants that were way too big on him, because otherwise they would've ripped to shreds. The old bed he was lying down on collapsed under the weight of the creature Harry had become, making a loud bang that woke up the house.

Upon hearing Vernon Dursley's screams from another room, the monster stood up and roared, flexing his huge muscles in front of him. No longer was Harry Potter a short, scrawny 11-year-old boy with messy hair and a lightning bolt scar. He was a seven-foot-tall green monster with messy hair and a lightning bolt scar. He looked around the tiny room he was stuck in and roared again before smashing the dresser and desk with his fists. He then punched a troll-sized hole in the wall with both hands and prepared to leap onto the well-manicured lawn.

Just before he jumped, the Harry-creature heard a loud screech and turned to see a snowy white owl locked in a cage. He took the cage in his hands and gently pulled its door open, saying, "Hed-wey," while easily breaking the lock the Dursleys had placed there. Without another sound, Hedwig flew out the window and out of sight.

The creature turned back toward the hole in the wall just as the bedroom door burst open, revealing Vernon Dursley in his bathrobe, looking mad as a hornet. His complexion was as red as it ever had been. He started shouting, "Boy, how dare…" before he saw what was in the bedroom. He paled faster than should be possible before turning and running away, leaving a wet trail behind him. The creature roared once more in his direction before jumping out the hole it had created and running off into the night. It didn't notice the snowy owl that followed at a safe distance.

-HULK-

The next morning, as Harry drifted awake, he knew something was wrong. He could feel that he wasn't lying on his bed – it felt more like grass –a bird was standing on his arm, and something wet was flowing down his forehead. His first thought was that the bird, which he hoped was Hedwig, had urinated on him, but the liquid felt thicker than that. He opened his eyes as his left hand wiped his forehead, causing the bird to fly away before Harry could identify it.

Through blurred vision, he saw that he was lying down in a field he'd never seen before and the sun was out. He was wearing the large pants he'd fallen asleep in with no shirt, socks or shoes. Worse, he didn't have his glasses, so he had to squint to see anything clearly, including the blackish-red liquid that was on his left hand. When examining it closely, he decided that it was a weird combination of blood and some tar-like substance. Whatever it was, he wiped it onto the grass as he got up in hopes of figuring out just where in the world he was.

-HULK-

At the same time, Albus Dumbledore, headmaster of Hogwarts, Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot and many other titles, was sitting at his desk at the school he worked at, preparing his annual newspaper listing for a new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. As he dipped his quill in ink, the fireplace in his office flashed green and a familiar voice called his name.

"Albus? Are you there?"

As he stood up and walked toward the fireplace, Dumbledore replied, "Of course I am, Arabella. You know I spend most of my mornings here." He then squatted down to get a better look at the face of Mrs. Figg, the squib he'd planted in Little Whinging to look over the Boy-Who-Lived. "Is there something wrong with young Harry?"

"Maybe. I don't know," she exclaimed with a worried expression. "He's missing!"

"Missing? What happened?" he replied calmly, hoping the situation wasn't as bad as Mrs. Figg was making it out to be.

"There's a big hole in the side of the Dursley house where Harry sleeps. He's not there. The Dursleys told the police they think Harry used explosives to run away."

"A muggle-worthy explanation," he agreed, still sounding calm, although he really was beginning to grow concerned.

"So I pretended to be an Auror and asked them what really happened."

"What did they say?" he asked worriedly.

"That a large, green creature did all the damage. I guess it was a troll. Only Mr. Dursley saw that. He assumes that it took Harry and didn't seem the least bit concerned whether his nephew was dead or alive."

After a quick glance at one of the devices on his desk, Dumbledore assured her, "He is alive and well, wherever that may be."

"I'm glad to hear that. Anyway, they unloaded his trunk, with all his magical things in it, on me, saying I can give it back to Harry if he resurfaces."

"Send it through the floo. I'll see that it's returned to him."

"He also wanted to know if _our kind_ was going to pay for the damage to his house."

-HULK-

Harry smiled with relief as he read the sign _London: 5 kilometers_ in front of him. "At least now I know where we are," he said to no one in particular as he held one side of his raggedy pants to keep them from falling. He looked like a beggar. At about that time, he noticed a familiar owl flying in his general direction. "Hedwig!" he called, "am I glad to see you!" Even with blurry vision, he'd recognize his winged companion anywhere. The snowy owl swooped down from the sky and landed on his shoulder.

"I don't suppose you know how I got here?" Harry asked his owl.

"Hoot," the intelligent bird replied.

"You do, don't you?" the Boy-Who-Lived answered. "I just wish I could speak owl, then." Hedwig seemed to nod in agreement. Harry was sure Hedwig wished he were intelligent enough to learn the owl language. "I guess we should get to London." Looking down at his shirtless and shoeless self, he added, "I guess I need to get some new clothes. I hope Gringotts allows you to go inside without a shirt or shoes. Or access your vault without your key."

-HULK-

It was a very exhausted, not to mention sunburned, Harry that pushed open the door of the Leaky Cauldron. His feet hurt, as did his pride. As he made his way into London, he was naturally assumed by all the muggles to be homeless. Some of them gave him a little money. Others tried to persuade him to go to the police or an orphanage, but he managed to get away before they could do anything. His appearance wasn't the best it had ever been, but he was instantly recognized by someone.

"Harry! What are you doing here? What happened to you?"

Even with his unaided vision, he could recognize the person addressing him as the woman who'd shown him how to get onto Platform Nine and Three-Quarters nearly a year before. He couldn't help but smile at the plump woman. At last he might be able to get some help. "Mrs. Weasley. It's great to see you!"

She immediately engulfed him in a hug before saying, "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," he replied once she'd let go of him, "but, as you can see, I don't have my shirt, glasses, shoes, or anything else. I don't know how I ended up like this. I woke up in a field and started walking."

"Dumbledore said there was some trouble at your home and you were missing, so he's having everyone search for you."

"What kind of trouble?" he inquired.

"Apparently, a troll busted the wall of your room. Are you sure you don't know anything about it?"

"A troll? No. Like I said, I went to sleep in bed and woke up in a field."

Sighing, Molly Weasley stated, "I'd better alert Professor Dumbledore that I've found you. He's got your things, by the way. Maybe I can talk him into letting you spend the rest of the summer at the Burrow, my house."

His face brightened up at the prospect of seven extra Dursley-free weeks. "I hope so."

She walked over to the fireplace and did something that Harry thought was very odd, but everyone else seemed to think was normal. She grabbed a handful of some black powder from the top of the fireplace, tossed it into the fire and shouted, "Hogwarts Headmaster's Office." The flames turned green and she squatted down, sticking her head into the fire.

He was too busy gaping at the strange sight to notice someone else enter the Leaky Cauldron from Diagon Alley and walk up to him. He did notice when a camera flashed in his face.

"Are you Harry Potter?" asked a small blond-haired boy.

Harry blinked a few times and squinted at kid. He appeared to be a firstie and was opening a book, obviously looking for something. He noticed a man in a milk delivery uniform walking up to the boy, accompanied by a woman. Harry assumed they were the boy's parents, and judging by their appearance, they were muggles.

"Colin! That was rude! You don't just go flashing your camera in random stranger's faces," the boy's father chastised.

"Apologize to him at once," Colin's mother demanded.

"Sorry about that," he said to Harry, "but I am right, aren't I? This book says Harry Potter can be identified by a lighting-shaped scar on his forehead."

"Yeah, I am. But don't believe all the stuff they print about me. I'm just…" At that moment, he trailed off as something was placed in front of his eyes. He blinked as the blurry world became clear again. He then turned to see Mrs. Weasley smiling at him while holding a shirt, socks, belt and shoes she'd obviously just gotten from Dumbledore. He surmised that she'd just placed his glasses on him. "Thanks, Mrs. Weasley," he said.

"Dumbledore is sending your things to the Burrow, Harry, but I thought you might want these to wear while we do a bit of shopping."

"Alright," he replied before turning back to his new acquaintance. "I've got to go…Colin, wasn't it?"

"Yeah. Colin Creevey. See you at Hogwarts."

"Bye." He then threw the shirt and belt on, sitting briefly to put on his socks and shoes. After that, he walked with Molly through the back door of the pub and then the magical entrance to Diagon Alley.

"I just needed to pick up a few odds and ends before we go to the Burrow." He then spent about a half hour helping Molly pick up a new jar of floo powder, which he learned was the stuff she'd thrown into the fireplace, along with a few other items, before they returned to that very fireplace and she told him how to floo to her home. "Say _the Burrow_ very clearly," she instructed him.

"The Burrow," he shouted a bit too loudly while tossing a pinch of floo powder into the fire, but the green flames managed to take him anyway. He fell forward onto the floor, breaking his glasses in the process, before crawling out of the way, knowing that his companion would be coming through any moment now. Predictably, the fire went green again and Molly stepped out gracefully.

She looked around before spotting him. "It does take some time to get used to traveling by fireplaces. You'll learn," she said sympathetically before offering him a helping hand. "At least you made it here."

Once he was on his feet, he looked around at the Burrow through his broken glasses. He saw some needles knitting a scarf by themselves. He noticed dishes in the kitchen washing themselves. But the thing that got his attention was a clock hanging on the wall. It was completely useless if you wanted to know the time, but otherwise very handy. It had a hand for every member of the family that was pointing toward the activity they were doing. Molly's hand, for example, was moving from _Traveling_ to _Home_. According to the clock, Mr. Weasley was at work, while Percy, Fred, George and Ron were at _Home_. Ginny, on the other hand, was _Visiting a Friend_.

"I've always loved that clock," Molly commented, almost reverently. "It lets me keep track of…"

BANG!

Harry jumped at the noise that was coming from above. "What's going on? Who's attacking…"

"No one's attacking us, dear, but I'm about to attack someone." Molly then started up the stairs, her hands on her hips. "FRED! GEORGE! WHAT IN THE BLAZES IS GOING ON?! I CAN'T LEAVE YOU BOYS ALONE FOR TWO SECONDS…"

While Mrs. Weasley was yelling at the twins, Harry decided to look around a bit. He ended up opening the back door just in time to see Ron violently tossing what appeared to be a tiny man over their fence.

"And stay out!" he shouted before noticing his observer. "Oi, Hello, Harry. I was just finishing up degnoming the garden. How long can you stay? You wanna play a game of chess?"

Harry tried to answer both his questions. "It looks like I'm staying for the rest of the summer."

"That's great! Maybe we can play some Quidditch later."

"Sure. I guess I'll play chess now, but answer me this: what is degnoming?"

They walked back inside while Ron was explaining his chore when Harry noticed Ginny's hand on the clock moving to _Traveling_. Ron sighed and sarcastically said, "Great. I thought she'd be gone the whole day." After a moment, he said with a smirk, "She probably senses you're here."

"Me?"

"Yes. She's been talking about you all summer. A bit annoying, really. Anyway, she'll be back from Loony's house in just a few minutes."

"Loony?" Harry asked.

"Luna Lovegood. She lives pretty close by at the Rookery with her dad, the editor of a crazy magazine called _The Quibbler_. It talks about all kinds of made-up creatures and Luna believes it. Sometimes Ginny brings one home if it's just been printed."

"Well," Harry said, for some reason feeling that he should defend this girl he'd never met, "I didn't believe dragons existed a year ago. Maybe those creatures are just rare or hidden or something…" he trailed off, not knowing what else to say.

"Whatever. Let me get my chessboard." Ron ran off up the stairs where his mother had finally stopped berating Fred and George for trying to blow up the house again. After Ron returned, he and Harry set up the chessboard and began playing, telling their pieces where they should go. Ron was just a few turns from a checkmate when the door opened, revealing the youngest Weasley.

Ginny was wearing a pair of jeans and a green t-shirt, and carrying a magazine. Harry could make out that the title said it was the _Quibbler_ that he'd just been talking about. He was a bit curious, so he decided to ask if he could read it. "Hi, Ginny," he said, causing the girl who hadn't been looking his direction to turn and then stiffen. "Could I borrow that?" With a trembling hand, she held out the _Quibbler_ for him.

Once he had it, she about ran upstairs, although she did manage to say, "Luna said the cover story was just added because of something that happened last night," just before she closed her bedroom door.

While Ron was chuckling about Ginny's reaction to Harry, he was staring at the cover. It had a drawing of a large green giant on the front, and a headline that said, _Historically Unknown Lost Kreature Terrorizes Muggles._ The article, which referred to the monster by its initials, said that the troll-like creature had been spotted in Surrey last night. The article claimed that descriptions given by muggle witnesses before they were Obliviated proved it wasn't a troll – just similar to one, therefore it was a new creature the Ministry was hiding that needed a new name. Mr. Lovegood said the K worked better with the HULK acronym than a C when he was coming up with a name. He promised to do his very best to get a photograph of the creature as soon as he could, "…provided that it's not as sensitive about having its picture taken as Crumple-Horned Snorkacks."

"Checkmate," said Ron, turning Harry's attention to a more important topic – the game he'd just lost.


	3. 3 The Hidden Monster

Harry Potter and all characters, etc. belong to J.K. Rowling, not me.

The Incredible Hulk belongs to Marvel.

**Harry's Ultra Large Kind – Chapter 3 – The Hidden Monster**

Harry had been enjoying the best summer of his life. For the past three Dursley-free weeks, he'd been staying at the Burrow – Ron's house – and seeing what life in a magical family could be like. He'd joined in with Ron and his siblings, degnoming the garden, along with a few other chores that were much more enjoyable than anything the Dursleys made him do. He'd also completed his Hogwarts homework. However, most of his time was spent either playing Quidditch or swimming in the nearby pond. However, one strange thing was occurring.

_A few days after Harry had arrived at the Burrow, a letter for Ron was flown in by a post owl during breakfast, right after Mr. Weasley left for work. He quickly opened it and began reading. He chuckled a bit before saying, "Harry, Hermione's getting all upset that you haven't replied to her letters yet. I'll explain that you've had more important things to do."_

"_I haven't gotten any letters from her," the Boy-Who-Lived countered. "In fact, I haven't gotten any mail all summer."_

"_Well," said Ron with a grin. "I guess she has finally gone round the twist with all her reading. Maybe she read about a letter in one of her books…"_

"_That's not funny, Ronald," interrupted Mrs. Weasley. "Harry, are you absolutely certain that you haven't received any letters from her or anyone else?"_

"_Positive."_

"_That's very strange. Owls rarely fail to deliver their letters."_

"_Quite true," agreed Percy. "Even old Errol makes his deliveries."_

"_Do you think something's stopping…" said Fred._

"…_Harry from getting his letters?" finished George._

"_Why not just have Errol deliver a letter for Harry, just to see if owls can find him?" suggested Ginny. About a second later, the girl's face turned redder than her hair and she stared down at her plate._

"_Good idea, Ginny," agreed Molly._

_They soon tied a letter to Errol, who promptly flew straight to Harry, looking annoyed that he'd been bothered to deliver a letter to someone sitting at the same table as the one who'd sent it._

"_Maybe Errol should come…" suggested George, although Harry couldn't tell them apart._

"…_from further away," completed Fred._

In order to follow that suggestion, Ginny went to see her friend Luna, promising to send an owl to Harry as soon as she arrived. Three hours later, when the youngest Weasley returned, Harry hadn't received a letter, but the Lovegood owl had returned uninjured and empty-clawed. So far, no one had been able to figure out why Harry wasn't receiving his mail, but several people, including Hagrid, had tried to write him. It was while Harry was drying off from a swim in the pond, on his twelfth birthday, that he found out what was happening with his mail.

-HULK-

Harry was alone in Ron's room, which he'd been sharing, putting on a fresh shirt, when there was a loud 'pop' behind him. He jumped and turned, wishing he'd had his wand on him. Instead, it was closed up in his trunk. What he saw was the strangest looking creature he'd ever encountered, although he would have to admit he'd read about stranger animals in _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them_. It was very short with big eyes and ears.

Before Harry could say anything, it greeted him. "Hello, Harry Potter, sir. Dobby is so pleased to make your acquaintance. Dobby wishes it wasn't under such dire circumstances." He paused for a moment. "It's hard to explain."

"Why don't you sit down?" asked Harry, who immediately regretted it.

Dobby started crying aloud as he repeated, "Sit down? Sit down?"

"I'm sorry, Dobby. I didn't mean to offend you."

"Offend Dobby, sir? Dobby has heard of your greatness sir, but never has Dobby been asked to sit down by a wizard, like an equal."

"I guess you haven't met many decent wizards then, have you?" asked Harry.

"No, Dobby hasn't. That was a terrible thing to say." Then, suddenly Dobby did something that completely surprised Harry. He picked up an old beater bat that was on the floor and began using it on himself, bloodying, possibly breaking, his nose in the process.

"What are you doing?!" shouted Harry, grabbing the bat from his strange companion.

"Begging your pardon, sir, but Dobby almost spoke ill of his family."

"Your family?"

"House elves like Dobby are bound to serve one family. When Dobby misbehaves, Dobby must punish himself. Dobby will have to slam his head into the oven for visiting Harry Potter, sir, but he must. Dobby must convince Harry Potter not to be going to Hogwarts this year."

"What?"

"There is a plot. Terrible things will be happening."

"What's the plot?"

"Dobby can't say?"

"Who's plotting them?"

"Dobby can't say." It appeared to Harry that the house elf was struggling even to give a non-answer. "Dobby hoped that Harry Potter wouldn't go to Hogwarts if he thought his friends had forgotten him. That's why Dobby has been taking Harry Potter's mail."

"It's you that's been stealing my letters?!" he yelled as the elf produced a stack of mail.

"What's going on in here?" asked Ron as he opened the door, obviously hearing his friend yelling. Dobby snapped his fingers and disappeared.

"I found out what's been happening to my mail."

-HULK-

"So let me get this straight," said Ron after Harry had explained. "Some crazy elf doesn't want you to go to Hogwarts, so he's been stealing all your mail."

"Yeah. He says it'll be dangerous there this year."

"Maybe that Hulk creature from the _Quibbler_ will be there this year," Ron joked.

Harry laughed along with his friend, but he did realize one thing. The Hulk described in the magazine he'd borrowed from Ginny on his first day at the Burrow was in the same area as the troll-like creature that had attacked the Dursley house. Harry didn't consider that a likely coincidence, so he figured there could be some truth to that article.

-HULK-

When they told the other Weasleys about Dobby, Fred and George guessed that some rich kid like Malfoy had sent his elf to scare Harry into not returning to Hogwarts. Molly immediately flooed Dumbledore about it, and he assured her that he'd keep Hogwarts safe this year, like he always did. The Weasley boys and Harry spent the afternoon outside playing Quidditch, and when they returned at dinner time, Harry, who arrived at the house first, walked inside to find the Burrow completely dark.

He, yet again, wished he'd had his wand with him, feeling that something wasn't right. He squinted as he looked around for some clue as to what terrible thing had happened here when suddenly the lights came on and people shouted from both in front of and behind him. "SURPRISE!" Then there was a flash in his face, which momentarily blinded him.

After he'd blinked rapidly for a few seconds, the photographer came into view. It was a girl about Ginny's age with dirty blonde, waist-length hair and protuberant, silvery grey eyes. She was holding a camera and seemed to have a permanently surprised look on her face.

"Hello," said Harry, seemingly mesmerized by the girl in front of him.

"Happy birthday, Harry Potter," the girl replied with a dreamy expression.

"H-H-Harry, this is my f-friend, L-L-Luna L-L-Lovegood," said Ginny, nervously. "She asked if she could come to your party."

"I was hoping to get a picture of a wrong-fanged rompter," explained Luna. "They often make appearances at surprise parties."

"Did you get one?" Harry asked, not sure what else to say.

"I think it hid behind you when it saw my camera, so all I got was a picture of you."

"Er…sorry?" he sort of apologized.

"It's alright. Maybe Daddy can use your picture for a Quibbler article. Have you seen any unusual creatures lately?" The girl seemed to be studying him closely. Her expression was one of mild interest, as opposed to her permanently-surprised look.

"No."

"There's more to you than meets the eye, Harry Potter," the girl replied. "I'm not sure what it is, but…"

"Oi! Harry," shouted Ron from across the room. "Open up your presents so we can get to the food!"

"I hope there's pudding," said Luna, her expression back to normal (for her) as the topic changed.

"Me, too," he replied before walking over to the table full of presents, grabbing the closest one, a package that had been badly wrapped in bright orange paper. "This one's from Ron," he announced after reading the label. He tore the orange paper to find an orange jersey advertising the Chudley Cannons – the worst team in Quidditch in everyone but Ron's opinion. To his best friend, this was the greatest team in the world. "Thanks, Ron," he said, slipping the jersey over his head with a big smile on his face. This was the first birthday party he'd ever had.

He received gifts from all the Weasleys, although he wasn't sure if he should eat the candy he'd gotten from Fred and George. Ginny had gotten him a box of chocolate frogs, while her parents had given him a sweater. Percy had given him a homework planner. Hermione had sent him a book on common household spells, along with a card that apologized that she couldn't make it because her family was vacationing in Rome.

There was also another small package that appeared to be wrapped in an old _Quibbler_ magazine cover. He realized it was from the girl he'd just met.

"Daddy says not to waste issues that don't sell," she stated as he tore the wrapping apart, revealing his gift. It was a green elastic friendship bracelet that said _Fellowship of the Nargles_ in gold lettering that randomly appeared and disappeared.

"Thank you, Luna," he said, touched that this stranger would give him anything.

She rolled up the sleeve of her shirt a bit to reveal a similar bracelet, only hers was purple. "If you wear it, it'll almost be like we're friends."

"I want to be friends with you, Luna," he replied.

"That's nice," she said simply before looking at the table with food. "Oh good. There's pudding."

The rest of the party went very well, with Harry thoroughly enjoying this rare occurrence. A few short weeks later, there was a similar party for Ginny. Before long, it was September 1st – the day to ride the Hogwarts Express to school.


	4. 4 The Chamber of Monsters

Harry Potter and all characters, etc. belong to J.K. Rowling, not me.

The Incredible Hulk belongs to Marvel.

**Harry's Ultra Large Kind – Chapter 4 – The Chamber of Monsters**

It was nearly time for the Hogwarts Express to leave on September 1st, so, as usual, the Weasley family was running late. They were riding a light blue Ford Anglia that Mr. Weasley had enchanted, and they'd had to turn back more than once on their journey. First, they'd had to return for something the twins had forgotten, and then for Ginny's diary. When they had finally gotten to King's Cross Station with Harry, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley first escorted Ginny through the barrier at Platform Nine and Three Quarters, followed by their other kids. Ron and Harry were the last to walk through the barrier, but they had a small problem. When they attempted to do that, they ran into a solid brick wall and fell to the ground. They were just getting up when they heard a familiar voice.

"You see, Daddy. I told you that we should be late."

"It looks like you were right, Luna. You did hear the under-foot bombles correctly."

"Hi, Luna," said Harry, trying to straighten his clothes out from his fall. Although he was embarrassed at having fallen, he was happy to have someone else to talk to about the problem. "The barrier seems to have been closed, and it's time for the train to leave."

"Harry Potter, this is my daddy, Xenophilius Lovegood," she replied, deciding to introduce her father. "He'll know what to do." The man in question walked up to the wall and slapped it hard.

"Yes. It's solid, all right, although I can't tell which creature did it. Either a twinkle-eyed moncat or a rhibird, I'd wager." He shrugged his shoulders. "Doesn't matter, anyway. Stay here and I'll apparate each of you to the other side."

"The train probably hasn't taken off yet anyway," stated Luna.

Harry watched in fascination as Mr. Lovegood took his daughter's arm and they disappeared with a small pop. He was surprised no one noticed, but then realized that this area was probably full of notice-me-not charms so the muggles wouldn't see anything out of the ordinary there, even if a dragon was standing there (although they'd notice once the dragon moved). He soon reappeared.

"Luna was right. The train hasn't taken off yet. I wish I'd learned to side-along apparate more than one person at a time, but it's never come up. Maybe I'll try to learn." He then took Harry by the arm and they popped away, a most unpleasant sensation, in Harry's opinion. While Mr. Lovegood retrieved Ron, Harry looked around the platform.

"There you are, Harry," said Mrs. Weasley while pulling him into a hug. "We were worried what you'd do and were about to come get you." At that moment, Xenophilius and Ron appeared and Molly greeted her youngest son. They soon boarded the train and headed toward Hogwarts.

-HULK-

The year began normally. The new Defense-Against-the-Dark-Arts professor, Gilderoy Lockhart, had brought Cornish Pixies to Harry's class for their first period, to disastrous results. Draco had bought his way onto the Slytherin Quidditch team, proving that even he knew he wasn't skilled enough to be a Seeker. On Halloween, however, a very disturbing event took place.

Harry, Ron and Hermione had been invited to Nearly-Headless Nick's Deathday party, and were leaving that event, when, while following a voice only Harry could hear, they ran across Mr. Filch's cat, Mrs. Norris, hanging by its tail stiff as a board – petrified. A message was written on the wall in blood. "The Chamber of Secrets has been opened. Enemies of the Heir – Beware." Filch apparently believed that being the first to find his cat made Harry the culprit, but was forced to let go of Harry when Dumbledore showed up. He wasn't officially accused, but people started wondering if he was the Heir of Slytherin.

A week later, it was the first Quidditch match of the year – Gryffindor versus Slytherin – Draco's debut as Seeker. Malfoy was so busy taunting Harry that he didn't notice the Snitch was right above his head. The only problem Harry had with the game was that someone had enchanted a bludger to keep attacking him. When the offending bludger hit Harry's arm, breaking it, he did everything he could to suppress the pain and concentrate, focusing all his energy on catching the Snitch. There was no way he'd let Draco beat him at Quidditch. Once Harry caught the tiny winged ball mere feet above the ground, he promptly passed out. He woke up in the hospital wing to find out Lockhart had attempted to heal him and wound up removing all the bones from the arm that had been broken. He never realized how close he'd come to releasing the monster within him.

-HULK-

Over the next several months, there were more attacks by the heir, a dueling club and the use of Polyjuice potion to try getting answers from Malfoy, only to learn he didn't have any idea who the Heir of Slytherin was. One of the lowest points was May 8th, when Hermione was petrified by Slytherin's monster. That night, Ron and Harry snuck off to question Hagrid, whom Harry had learned through an old diary that once belonged to a Slytherin prefect named Tom Marvolo Riddle, had been expelled for being the Heir of Slytherin fifty years before.

Before they got any answers from Hagrid, however, both Lucius Malfoy and Minister of Magic Cornelius Fudge arrived with Dumbledore. Mr. Malfoy was there to serve a notice of suspension to Dumbledore while Fudge was there to arrest Hagrid, so that he could be seen doing something. While Hagrid was being led away, he indicated that Harry and Ron should, "Follow the spiders." That was why the pair was in their current predicament.

They had followed a group of spiders that led them into a cave with a huge acromentula named Aragog. He'd told them that he wasn't Slytherin's monster and that the girl he'd been accused of killing had died in a bathroom. Then, when Harry and Ron wanted to go, Aragog's children attacked them.

Ron and Harry fought back-to-back as the huge spiders came at them from every angle. There was no one to rescue them. No one even knew where they were. If had been a few, or maybe even a dozen spiders, they might have stood a chance, but they kept coming. One of them jumped at Harry while he was shooting another and bit him.

"Owww!" he screamed in pain while another took advantage of his distraction and bit his other arm. The pain got too great for Harry, who fell to the ground, his glasses falling off, while his eyes started glowing killing-curse green.

"Harry!" shouted Ron, who heard his friend's screams. He turned to try to help Harry, but realized that they both were going to die from his greatest fear – spiders. He was unprepared for the sight that awaited him. First, he saw the spiders backing off of their victim in terror. Then, he saw that Harry's skin had turned green and that he was growing. He'd already outgrown his shirt. The monster that had once been his best friend got up, tossing the remains of the shirt to the ground. Ron noticed that the friendship bracelet Harry had gotten from Luna was still on his wrist, and the green color matched his current skin pigmentation perfectly. The words, "Fellowship of the Nargles," that were randomly appearing and disappearing on the elastic bracelet appeared to be a golden magical tattoo if you didn't look too closely.

"Rraahhh!" he roared, flexing his huge muscles and glaring at the retreating spiders. The Hulk, however, wasn't going to let them get away. He quickly advanced on the closest one, picking it up and tearing it in two, roaring loudly, and then started on the next one. He always kept himself close to Ron, making sure that none of the spiders got near him. Ron noticed Aragog himself escaping while the Hulk was killing his thirteenth spider. He also noticed Harry's glasses on the ground and quickly pocketed them.

The slaughter continued for what seemed forever to Ron, but eventually he couldn't see any spiders bigger than a galleon. Suddenly the not-so-jolly green giant turned on him, reaching out and grabbing the redhead, who found himself being carried through the forbidden forest all the way to Hagrid's hut. Then the creature sat down on the ground and closed his eyes, soon reverting back to his previous form. His elastic bracelet reverted to its original size. He opened his eyes and looked around, confused.

"How did we get here? Where are the spiders? Where are my glasses? Why aren't I wearing a shirt or shoes?" Once he'd been given his glasses, he'd finally noticed that Ron was staring at him, obviously frightened. "Ron, why are you looking at me like that?"

"I don't know how to say it, mate. You, you changed."

"What do you mean, I changed?"

"I mean, you turned green. You grew to be almost as big as a troll and killed almost all the spiders," he said slowly, still trying to wrap his mind around what he'd seen.

"What? How?"

"I d-d-don't know. Are you that Hulk creature the _Quibbler's_ on about?"

Harry looked both thoughtful and depressed. "This is about how I woke up the day that monster broke out of the Dursleys' house. Maybe it was me." He put his head in his hands. "I guess I am a freak. More than that – a monster. Could I be the Heir of Slytherin?"

"I don't know, Harry. I just don't know." He took a deep breath. "I do know you saved my life. I wish Hermione were here. She'd know what to do."

-HULK-

The next five days were awful for Harry. He and Ron had deduced that, since he wakes up without a shirt when he changes into the Hulk, he couldn't have been transforming all year long without noticing, so he couldn't be the Chamber of Secrets monster.

"Great," commented Ron when they realized this. "That means there are two different monsters in the castle." He was trying to be funny, and Harry could tell that he was doing his best to accept what had happened, but Harry could tell that Ron was a bit nervous around him.

Ron had suggested that the creature only appeared when Harry was hurt, but then was reminded that his first transformation had occurred while he was sleeping. Harry couldn't blame Ron for being nervous, since they didn't know what triggered the change. He could theoretically change at any time.

They'd met Aragog on Monday night, but it wasn't until Friday that they managed to see Hermione again, since the security measures were preventing unnecessary movement by the students.

While visiting Hermione's petrified form, they discovered a crumpled-up piece of paper in her hand. It was torn from a book, which was very unusual for their bookish friend to do. The page described what they realized Hermione believed Slytherin's monster to be – a basilisk. Just as they realized that Moaning Myrtle was the girl whom the basilisk killed fifty years ago, there was a school-wide announcement for all the students to return to their dorms and the faculty to meet in their lounge. Ron and Harry spied on the teachers, learning that Ginny Weasley had been taken into the Chamber of Secrets. They decided to go after her.

"Maybe we should get Professor Lockhart," Harry began to suggest.

"Are you mad?" asked Ron. "If that Hulk of yours shows up, he'll probably try to kill you, too. Mind you, he's useless, so I doubt he could do it, but still, we don't want him to see it."

"Are you sure?" Harry asked. "Maybe…"

"I'd rather trust Ginny with you than him, mate. I saw the Hulk. He can tell friend from enemy. He protected me."

"That means a lot to me, Ron," said Harry. "I guess we should go then."

-HULK-

After talking briefly to Moaning Myrtle, it was quite easy to find the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets, and even easier to open it with Parseltongue. And so, they soon found themselves walking the passage toward the chamber. When they ran across an old skin from the basilisk, they both became even more nervous.

When Harry opened another door up in Parseltongue, they saw the legendary Chamber of Secrets, with a huge statue of Slytherin's head, and, more importantly, Ginny lying unconscious on the floor.

"Ginny!" shouted both Harry and Ron at the same time as they ran toward her.

"She won't wake," said a figure emerging from the shadows, who seemed a bit transparent. It was a boy with dark hair wearing Slytherin robes with a prefect badge.

Ron pulled his wand and pointed it at the stranger, "And just who are you? What have you done to my sister?"

"That's Tom Riddle," said Harry, recognizing him from the diary.

With only a hand gesture, Ron's wand flew out of his hand into Tom's before Harry had finished speaking. Then Tom fired a red beam of light that hit Ron, knocking him unconscious.

Harry pulled his wand out, shouting, "_Expelliarmus!_" which Tom easily blocked with Ron's wand.

"_Crucio!_" shouted Riddle angrily. "How dare you defy me, Lord Voldemort?!"

That was the last thing Harry Potter understood, as the intense pain triggered his metamorphosis. Tom didn't notice this because he broke the spell, choosing to summon the basilisk to kill his nemesis. When he turned back, the Hulk was standing before him. The green giant roared loudly, the sound echoing around the room they were in, causing Ron to stir, just a bit. The Hulk ran at Tom, and before Young Voldemort could shoot off a spell, he had picked him up and thrown him across the room.

By then, the huge sixty-foot basilisk had emerged. It poised to strike the Hulk, but the part-troll grabbed its body and started squeezing it before the beast could look him in the eye. It shook as hard as it could. After about fifteen seconds, the basilisk had managed to shake the Hulk off of it. The snake prepared to strike its huge opponent when it heard someone shouting from behind it.

"Oi, why don't you attack me? I taste good!" The huge snake turned to see the source of the noise. Ron was against the wall on the opposite side of the chamber with his eyes closed, hoping to give Harry another chance to attack the monster. The Hulk did just that.

Putting his two fists together, the incredible Hulk punched the basilisk's body, breaking through the skin. The snake screamed in agony as it tried turning toward its more powerful attacker. However, before it could do that, the Hulk punched it again, this time breaking its bones. Unable to move and terribly injured, the beast fell, passing out while it bled to death.

"You may have killed the basilisk, but the girl will die as well, and I will be reborn!" shouted Tom, who had chosen to observe the fight without drawing attention to himself. He wanted to find out what he was facing. "Quite an impressive self-transfiguration, I must say. How did you manage it?"

The Hulk roared at him and started to run toward Voldemort, who had a fast-moving target to aim at, which caused him to miss. Ron, in the meantime, had made his way toward his sister, pulling the diary out of her hands. As he heard the Hulk tossing Riddle again, the red-head realized something important. "The book is enchanted. That must be what's causing this. I've got to destroy it," he mumbled to himself. He then ran to the dead basilisk and pushed the diary into one of the fangs in its mouth. At the same time the Hulk reached out to grab Tom for his third throw of the night, he disappeared with a scream.

The Hulk looked at Ron, who, upon seeing his sister stir, said, "It's all right now. You can change back."

The creature seemed to understand what Ron said, at least on an instinctual level, because it sat down where it stood, closed its eyes, and did just what his companion had suggested. It seemed that at the exact moment he finished the transformation, Ginny opened her eyes and looked around.

"H-H-Harry, Ron, it was me. But I couldn't control myself. I…"

"It'll be okay, Ginny," said Ron. "We know it wasn't your fault."

"We'd better get out of here," said Harry, after finding and magically repairing his glasses, which had broken during his transformation. "Ron, can I borrow your robe?"

"Why aren't you wearing a shirt, Harry?" asked Ginny, shyly.

"It got ripped during my fight with Riddle," he answered, giving no details. Ron didn't elaborate, either.

-HULK-

They managed to get out of the Chamber after Harry (realizing that Ginny had to have somehow exited the chamber without flying) decided to try calling for stairs at the entrance, which magically appeared. They quickly went to Gryffindor Tower, where Harry could get more clothes on, and then found Professor Dumbledore, who had returned, with Arthur and Molly Weasley.

Their explanation of how they'd beaten the basilisk was vague, and neither Ron nor Harry believed they'd fooled anyone, but they weren't pressed for more details. It seemed everyone was simply relieved that Ginny was safe. After an encounter with Lucius Malfoy, wherein Harry tricked him into freeing Dobby, the year ended very quickly, and all the students found themselves on the Hogwarts Express.

Harry, Hermione, Ron, Ginny and Luna were sharing a compartment, chatting amicably, when Draco Malfoy, Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle burst in on them.

"Potter, I'll bet you feel really clever for costing my family a house elf!" he shouted angrily.

"Actually, I do," replied Harry, feeling particularly pleased with himself about how he'd tricked Lucius. "Your father is quite gullible."

"Why you!" shouted Draco, drawing his wand. "I'll…"

"Slavery is wrong, Malfoy," interrupted Hermione. "I'm glad Harry freed Dobby. All the elves should be freed!"

"No one asked your opinion, you filthy little mudblood!" Malfoy shouted at her. "This'll teach you not to interrupt your betters!" He pointed his wand at her and shouted, "_Diffindo!_" the incantation for the severing charm, which was not supposed to be used on people.

Without thinking of possible consequences, Harry instinctively jumped in front of his friend, taking the curse for her. It painfully cut a slice in his chest. While he was screaming from the pain, Harry's eyes began to glow.

"I can't believe you'd take a curse for a filthy mud…" Draco stopped mid-insult as he noticed Harry's body turning green and growing.

Luna was staring in fascination while the others watched in horror. Only Ron knew what to expect. Harry's glasses broke yet again as he grew. Once he was at full size, he growled right in Draco's face. "RRrrrahh!" The blond bigot tried to run, but he was too slow. The creature grabbed him and tossed him out of the compartment, into a wall of the train. He hit it with his right shoulder, which was obviously dislocated and broken, but he was still conscious.

"Hello, Hulk," said Luna, acting as though nothing unusual had occurred. "It's nice to meet you. I see your friendship bracelet matches your skin perfectly. It looks nice on you."

The creature looked at her for a moment before punching a hole in the wall of the moving train and jumping out, before running away at full speed.

"Too bad he was in a hurry," commented Luna. "I would've liked an interview."

"Ron," said Hermione as she and Ginny stared at the redheaded boy. "You don't seem surprised by what happened. Why?"

Realizing he'd never get away with lying to them, he swallowed and said, "It's happened before."

A/N In this story, even though Harry's Horcrux is gone, he still speaks Parseltongue as a remnant or relic of his Horcrux. It won't come up in this story, but I believe that it's possible that Ginny could still be a Parselmouth, but not telling anyone, from her experience with the diary.


	5. 5 Don't Make Me Angry

Harry Potter and all characters, etc. belong to J.K. Rowling, not me.

The Incredible Hulk belongs to Marvel.

**Harry's Ultra Large Kind – Chapter 5 – Don't Make Me Angry**

The sound of birds singing woke Harry Potter up. However, he kept his eyes closed as he breathed in the scents around him. He could smell grass and quickly realized he was lying in a bunch of it. He also realized that he wasn't wearing a shirt or shoes and caught onto what had happened. "I changed again," he muttered to himself.

He spent a few moments trying to remember why he'd changed, and then it came to him. "Malfoy." He was beginning to wonder if he'd seriously hurt or even killed Draco as he finally decided to open his eyes. He was surrounded by trees, although they were all blurry due to his lack of glasses. "I wonder what forest I'm in," he muttered before he was hit from behind by a red light. He fell forward, unconscious, only to be levitated by the Auror that had followed the Hulk from a distance once Malfoy had contacted the Ministry.

-HULK-

He woke up again, not knowing how long it had been, in yet a different place. He opened his unaided eyes to see he was inside a small cell, lying on an uncomfortable cot, and dressed in prison stripes, although he still had his green friendship bracelet on. He sat up before hearing a scratchy voice from the cell across from his own.

"You're awake, Harry."

"Y-yes, I am. Who are you? Where am I?" he replied, beginning to feel a sense of dread.

"Where you are is a simple question. You're staying at the same luxury hotel I've been at for the past twelve years," the man said ruefully. He had messy black hair and a black, shaggy beard. His prison clothes appeared very old and worn out. "Azkaban prison."

"Azkaban? I've heard this is horrible! Even Hagrid was afraid of it!" Harry's panic increased exponentially. Then another horrible thought came to him. "Did I kill someone? That's the kind of thing you've got to do…"

"No," replied the stranger. "The guards said you broke a Malfoy's shoulder, which is probably healed by now, but, but they also said you're some kind of monster."

"They know," interrupted Harry with fear in his voice. "I turn into some kind of troll. It usually only happens when I'm hurt, but, but not always."

"You mean, it's true? I thought the Malfoys were just making it up."

"Yeah, but Draco started it. He's the one who started cursing people."

"Makes sense if the boy is anything like his father, Lucius."

"Yeah. This year, Lucius tried to kill every muggle-born in Hogwarts."

"Sounds like him. I take it there was no proof or he'd be here, too."

"Right in one. I did trick him into freeing a house-elf, though."

The stranger started laughing. "I wonder what he told Narcissa happened to the elf."

"Narcissa?" asked Harry.

The man seemed to hesitate for a moment before responding. "His wife, my cousin, formerly Narcissa Black."

"And you are?"

"You haven't heard of me? The man who supposedly betrayed your parents to Voldemort? According to rumors, Voldemort's right-hand man? Your godfather - Sirius Black."

"Godfather? Hold on. Betrayed my parents? You…"

"Supposedly!" Sirius emphasized. "I'm innocent, and maybe if I EVER get a trial I could prove it…or maybe not. The point is that they just locked me in here and threw away the key."

"Like they're probably doing to me?"

"Yeah." He sighed. "I'm sure they're labeling you a half-breed monster right now, making it illegal for you to live. Do you have any idea how…hold on. Lie back down. The Dementors are coming. Try not to think."

"What are Dementors?" asked Harry.

"You'll find out," replied Sirius wearily. Harry couldn't see very well, but it appeared that his godfather got smaller and furrier.

-HULK-

At the same time, a woman at the Ministry of Magic, dressed in all pink, was smiling evilly as she proudly looked at the latest piece of legislation she'd pushed through, with the help of Lucius Malfoy, of course.

"The newly discovered species designated as weretroll, a human who can become a troll-like creature, is a dangerous XXXXX class monster that should always be incarcerated or killed. Anyone found guilty of attempting to create one will be sentenced to life in Azkaban."

There were more details in the treatment of this non-human filth, but the first paragraph set the tone very well. Dolores Umbridge placed her copy of the bill in her handbag and giggled at the euphoria of a job well done.

-HULK-

_Harry Potter: The Boy-Who-Became-a-Troll_

_By Rita Skeeter_

_Eleven-year-old Harry Potter, the famous Boy-Who-Lived, has somehow become a troll-like monster. That's right – troll-like. He was chatting with his best friend, Draco Malfoy, on the Hogwarts Express, heading home after an enjoyable year, when suddenly he went into a daze._

"_We were just talking when Harry went into some sort of trance. His skin turned green and he grew to the size of a giant. He growled at me and roughly pushed me into a wall, where I broke my shoulder," reported young Malfoy, who urged us to lock the creature in Azkaban for his own good with tears in his eyes._

The rest of the Daily Prophet article went on to say how dangerous Harry was, and how legislation was being prepared so the Ministry could properly deal with the newly-named weretroll. In the meantime, he was being held in Azkaban.

Professor Dumbledore opted to read the rest of the article later as he contemplated this latest development. He soon opened the cabinet that contained his Pensieve in order to review a prophecy he'd heard long ago. He watched as the image of Professor Trelawney began to speak.

"_The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches...Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies...and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not...and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives...The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies."_

For the first time since the prophecy was given, Albus Dumbledore questioned his own interpretation of it. "I always believed the power was love," he muttered to himself. "What if it's this transformation instead?"

-HULK-

At the same time Dumbledore was reading the Daily Prophet, someone else was reading it, too. She was sitting at the table eating breakfast while looking through the magical newspaper that had been flown in by owl. Her parents were fascinated by the paper, staring over her shoulder as she read. Her mother asked, "Hermione, isn't that Harry Potter one of your friends from school? But if he is, isn't he twelve or thirteen?"

"Yes, and he's still twelve. His birthday's the thirty-first of July," she replied as a few tears started to run down her cheeks. "It's my fault! He took a curse meant for me!"

"And this curse turned him into…a monster, if the paper can be believed," asked her father.

"It couldn't have," she said automatically. "_Diffindo_ is the severing spell. It cut him."

"Someone tried to cut you?" asked Mrs. Granger, sounding concerned.

"Yes, that git Draco Malfoy. Anyway, Ron told us that Harry had changed a few times before."

"Do trolls actually exist?" asked Mr. Granger as he looked at the article more closely, having picked it up from the table.

"Yes, I've seen one," answered Hermione before clapping her hand to her mouth. She had never discussed the dangers she'd faced at Hogwarts with her parents, trying to sugar-coat the few things she couldn't completely hide.

"When?" asked both her parents together.

She swallowed as she decided that she wasn't a good enough liar to convince them it was at a magical zoo. "Er, well, you see, in my first year, a troll sort of got into the castle on Halloween and Harry, with Ron's help, kind of saved my life."

"How did something like that get into the castle? Why weren't we informed?" demanded her father.

"Is that when you became friends with them?" asked her mother, realizing the timing of the event.

However, Hermione wasn't listening to either of them. Instead she was replaying that incident in her mind, remembering that the monster's nose had been bleeding…onto Harry…who'd been a bit scratched up. "Some of the troll blood got in his blood!" she exclaimed, standing up. "That must be it!" She then said sadly, "So it is my fault. This happened while he was saving me." Then a determined look came back in her eyes. Her parents had seen this virtually every time she had a piece of homework in her hands. "First, I'll write Professor Dumbledore. He might know what to do. If he doesn't, I'll find a cure."

-HULK-

_Hulk's Identity Discovered_

_by Xenophilius Lovegood_

_This reporter's own daughter, Luna Lovegood, has discovered the identity of the creature known as the Hulk. It is none other than Harry Potter. She was sitting in her compartment on the Hogwarts Express with her friends, Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley and Ginny Weasley, when Draco Malfoy, longtime nemesis of Harry and his friends, burst uninvited into the compartment throwing insults and ultimately curses. He shot a cutting curse at Ms. Granger, but Mr. Potter heroically jumped in front of it, triggering the magnificent transformation. _

"_It was the most beautiful thing I'd ever witnessed," Luna stated, "even better than the lights that wrackspurts give off when viewed with a specterscope. Harry's skin turned a lovely shade of green which matches a friendship bracelet I gave him perfectly. Then his muscles grew and his shirt got ripped in the process…" The rest of Luna's statement might be better shown in a different publication. After the transformation was complete, Harry simply slapped Mr. Malfoy, who'd had much worse coming to him, and left the train. Unfortunately, he was arrested before an interview could be secured. One can only guess the origin of Harry's Ultra-Large Kurse._

"I hope that Harry gets to see the _Quibbler_ in Azkaban," stated Luna to no one in particular as she looked over the new magazine her father had just printed. He was at the Ministry working on getting an interview with Harry. The picture she'd taken of Harry at his birthday party, as well as a drawing she'd made of the Hulk, was displayed with the article. "I hope he gets new glasses so he can see the print. I wonder if they serve pudding there."

-HULK-

At the same time, in the horrific prison, which, incidentally, did not serve pudding to inmates, Harry was learning what a Dementor was. He began to feel a chill in the air shortly after Sirius stopped talking, and was now feeling more depressed by the moment. He sat down on his cot and squinted, trying to make out the appearance of his host. This seemed futile in the dark room, because all they seemed like to him were black cloaks with hands.

As one got closer, he began to hear a female voice screaming, "No, not Harry. Take me instead!"

-HULK-

Padfoot, even in dog form, wasn't completely immune to the Dementor's aura, especially today. He had to watch his godson being exposed to that foul creature, and was unable to do anything about it. Harry looked as though he were about to pass out, when suddenly his eyes changed. Even though the dog could only see in black and white, Harry's eyes seemed to be glowing. There was no mistaking it when his body actually got bigger, and the prison stripes were stretched to their limit and ripped open.

The creature got up and roared at the Dementor, who (being blind) hadn't seen what had occurred. It did flinch at the roar, and when his godson broke the door to his cell and pushed it right into the Dementor, it began screaming in pain. The Hulk turned, apparently looking for the exit, when Sirius decided he had to help his godson. He barked loudly, gaining Harry-troll's attention. He stared at the dog for a moment before taking the door in one hand and ripping it off its hinges, tossing it at the already pinned Dementor, who screamed again. Padfoot then followed the Hulk, who created his own doorways wherever he pleased, and before he knew it, for the first time in twelve years, he was free.

-HULK-

_Sirius Black and Harry Potter escape Azkaban_

_By Rita Skeeter_

_Just yesterday, the Boy-Who-Lived-to-Become-a-Weretroll was sent to Azkaban prison, where he could be helped in a safe environment. No sooner had he begun to acclimate to his new environment when he endangered us and himself again by changing into his monster and attacking a guard. The weretroll did considerable damage to the prison during his escape, but that's not the worst of it. While he was escaping, he let Sirius Black out of his cell._

_Many of you will remember how that, eight years ago, Sirius Black murdered fifteen muggles and one wizard with one spell. The wizard, Order of Merlin recipient, Peter Pettigrew, was confronting Black for betraying James and Lily Potter to You-Know-Who. That's right, Sirius Black was the worst of the Death Eaters, and now he's free to terrorize us once more, as well as teach young Harry how to best murder with his unique curse._

"_There's no way to prove that Black and Potter are together," said Minister Fudge, who looked flustered. "In fact, it would be foolish of Black to stay near Potter, because if the boy found out how Black had betrayed his parents to their deaths, the weretroll would kill him, and in this case, I'd say he deserves it." Both escapees are to be considered armed and dangerous. The Minister has informed the muggle minister of this occurrence, in an effort to save their mundane lives, but their leader wouldn't believe him. "He said I was making this up and basing it on a cronic brook hero, whatever that is."_

"I do hope poor Harry isn't with that Sirius Black," announced Molly Weasley, whose eyes were filled with tears as she read the morning paper. "This just gets worse and worse."

"I'm sure the lad's all right," replied Arthur. "Of course, you know he won't contact us."

"He can't believe we'd turn him in!" shouted Ginny, who was crying as much as her mother. She had by now learned the truth of what happened in the Chamber of Secrets, how Harry, in his troll form, had fought and killed a basilisk for her.

"Whether we will or won't is irrelevant," answered Arthur. "The Ministry is watching our house. If he gets within a mile of here, they'll catch him."

"And then he'll just escape again," said Ron with a grin. "There's no way they can hold him."

"That's what I'm afraid they'll realize," Ron's dad replied grimly. "Then they'll try to kill…"

"We've had enough talk about this matter at the table," interrupted his wife. "Breakfast is getting cold."

Meanwhile, unnoticed by the rest of the family, a certain rat began slowly making his way toward the door. With Harry and Sirius together, Peter Pettigrew was not going to risk them realizing his identity.

-HULK-

Harry woke up, yet again, this time inside a cave. Sirius Black was standing near him, but he was too blurry for Harry to see his expression. "Harry, how are you feeling?" Sirius asked.

"I'm feeling fine, although I can't see well at all without my glasses. Where are we?"

"Not that far from Azkaban. You turned into that troll right after the Dementor arrived and broke out. I managed to get you to free me and followed."

"Oh," he replied, not sure what to say.

"An Auror followed us for a while, but I managed to bite him on the leg, take his wand and Obliviate him."

"You bit him?" he asked, a bit repulsed.

"Yeah. You have your form. I have mine." With that, he transformed into a huge black dog.

"Wow! That's cool," replied Harry before his godfather changed back into a man.

"How else do you think I could keep up with you as the, what did they call it, weretroll?"

"The _Quibbler_ calls it the Hulk. I think I prefer that."

"Hulk, it is," he replied with a grin. "That will be your Marauder name. Mine's Padfoot."

"What's a Marauder?" asked Harry, figuring out that Padfoot had to do with the dog.

"What your father and our friends called ourselves. Your dad could turn into a stag, so he called himself Prongs. Our friend Remus was a werewolf, so we called him Moony." His expression suddenly became cold. "Then, there was Peter Pettigrew. We should've known what he would be when he learned to turn into a rat. He committed the crimes I was accused of, and faked his own death so he could get away."

"He betrayed my family to Voldemort?" asked Harry, beginning to look angry.

"Yes," he growled. "but you'd better calm down before the Hulk makes an appearance."

Taking a deep breath, Harry nodded, "I suppose so. It seems anger and pain can make me transform."

"It's really none of my business, but what memory did the Dementor bring up that made you transform?"

"My mum pleading with Voldemort for my life," he replied grimly.

Padfoot sighed sadly. "That's their effect. They take away all your happy memories and make you relive your worst."

"I guess that's not a good idea, when dealing with me," Harry replied with a smirk.

"I guess not, kiddo. You do know they'll have everyone looking for us, don't you?"

"That makes sense. I guess we should try not to get caught."

"Stick with me, and control your temper, and we should be able to keep one step ahead of them."

-HULK-

_Daily Prophet_

_September 1, 1993_

_Hogwarts Year Started, the Ministry Still Clueless_

_By Rita Skeeter_

_It's been nearly two months since the Boy-Who-Became-A-Weretroll and Sirius Black escaped Azkaban, and still the Ministry hasn't found any clues as to their whereabouts. This reporter couldn't believe it, but Minister Fudge suggested posting Dementors at Hogwarts, just in case Harry Potter decided to visit his friends. Fortunately, that idea was shot down by the Wizengamot, where it was pointed out that if Potter hasn't been stupid enough to visit his loving family, his mother's muggle sister and her husband, Vincent and Patricia Dudley, he won't be stupid enough to try to visit his friends at Hogwarts._

"Well, that's a relief," said Hermione as she read the newspaper on the Hogwarts Express. After spending most of the summer researching trolls and blood and anything else related to Harry's unique problem, she'd had absolutely no success. Dumbledore hadn't been particularly helpful either, his response indicating to her that he didn't think Harry's problem was all that bad, almost fated. In any case, she didn't know what else to study until she could actually examine Harry's blood. She had packed a microscope in her trunk, just in case.

"What is?" asked Ron glumly before biting into a chocolate frog. He hadn't quite been himself since his rat, Scabbers, ran away.

"Both that Dementors won't be stationed at Hogwarts, and that Harry still hasn't been caught."

"They wanted to put Dementors at Hogwarts?" asked Ron, looking shocked.

"Minister Fudge wanted to. The Wizengamot stopped him."

"That is a relief. Dad once visited Azkaban, and wasn't the same for days."

-HULK-

Elsewhere, Xenophilius Lovegood pointed his finger at a map of the Forest of Dean and declared to no one, "That's where they are!" He'd waited to reveal this guess until Luna was gone and he was alone. He didn't like how much his daughter was attracted to the Hulk. He simply figured that if he were on the run, he'd hide out in the huge forest.

-HULK-

In the Forest of Dean, a big black dog was sniffing the ground, hot on the trail of a deer. For the past few months, Padfoot and Hulk had been living off the land, keeping a low profile in the huge woods. Sirius figured that even if Harry transformed, as long as he stayed in the forest, no one would find out. He also knew that the Ministry of Magic didn't track magic done in the forest because there was no way to determine who performed the magic, since virtually any wizard could be in the forest. Therefore, he'd taught Harry to hunt with a wand they'd liberated from a drunken wizard who was staggering out of a nearby pub. They'd also acquired glasses for Harry that, while not his prescription, helped him somewhat.

The man-dog figured out the direction the deer had gone and hurried after it, while Harry, wand-in-hand, ran after him. It wasn't long until the black dog caught up with the resting deer, who prepared to bolt, only to be struck by a well-aimed stunning spell from the Boy-Who-Lived's wand. The dog quickly turned into a man. "You're getting quicker with that," he commented.

"Thanks," Harry replied, grinning. "Hunger is a real motivator."

"I guess we'd better prepare it, before the deer wakes up."

Two deer steaks were on a fire, with the rest under a stasis spell, when a strange man Harry recognized (after squinting a bit) walked into their campsite. He was wearing sky blue Wizarding robes, along with a necklace that had a strange symbol on it. He was carrying a standard school trunk. "Hello, Harry," he called out. "It's good to see you again. Sirius Black, it's nice to meet you. I'm Xenophilius Lovegood."

"How did you find us?" asked Harry, looking concerned. Sirius was reaching for his wand.

"Where else would you be?" he asked, sounding like it was the most obvious place for them to be. "I only waited this long because Luna would've insisted on coming along, and I'm not sure how I feel about her attraction to you."

"A-a-attraction to me?" asked Harry, now even more nervous.

Sirius laughed, "That's my godson!"

"Anyway, she took your trunk home after you left the Hogwarts Express, figuring you wouldn't want the Ministry to have it, so here it is. She fixed your old glasses, so they're in there as well. She made me promise not to look through it."

"Thanks. These glasses aren't as good. Just set it down there," said Harry, genuinely grateful.

"I'd like to start our interview," said Xeno, sitting on the grass.

"What…" Harry started to say.

"Sirius Black, how difficult is it for an insane murderer, such as yourself, to stop himself from killing Harry in his sleep?"

"I don't want to kill Harry!" shouted Sirius, looking upset.

"Obviously, your fear of the Hulk has helped you overcome the urge to finish the job you started with his family."

"I DID NOT BETRAY THE POTTERS!"

At this pronouncement, Xeno looked deeply into Sirius' eyes. "You're telling the truth. I can tell. I guess Doris Purkiss was right then. You are Stubby Boardman. To think, I was going to put off interviewing her. Tell me, Stubby, are you still in love with her?"

"Who? What?" asked Sirius, looking confused.

Xeno shook his head sadly. "That's what the Dementors will do to you, long term. You won't remember your loved ones, or even your own name."

"I'm not Stubby Boardman!" Padfoot declared.

"Of course not, Mr. Boardman," Xeno replied, winking.

"Mr. Lovegood," interrupted Harry. "He really is Sirius Black."

"That's only what he believes. He's forgotten himself. Anyway, there's no point in asking him anymore questions. So, how do you enjoy having so much power, Harry?"

"I think there's a lot of reason to talk to Sirius. He's got important things to say that he'd love to have printed in the _Quibbler_."

"My dear boy, I have nothing but pity for Mr. Boardman, but I have my paper's reputation to think of. I can't just print interviews from people who've lost their minds or memories. I only use credible sources with verifiable facts." Sirius started laughing at that statement. "Poor fellow. I hope he recovers. Anyway, Harry, about your power?"

"I don't like turning into the Hulk. I don't want to."

"I understand. A lot of times we do things we wouldn't normally want to do," Xeno agreed. "Desperation will push a man…"

"I'm not desperate to change!" Harry yelled, his face turning red. "I can't control it!"

"Then you wanted to stay in Azkaban, but were forced out by the Hulk?"

"No, I didn't like that, but that doesn't mean…"

"The Malfoy boy cursed you, so the Hulk hit him. You were locked up, so the Hulk escaped. It sounds like it's doing your bidding to me."

"Shut up! I AM NOT…"

"Harry!" shouted Sirius, while glaring at Xeno. "Control your temper!"

Taking a deep breath to calm down, Harry glared at Xeno.

"Mr. Lovegood, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry."

"So, are you saying anger helps you transform."

"Interview over!" shouted Sirius, grabbing Harry's arm, along with his trunk and apparating away.

After sighing sadly, Xeno said to no one, "Oh well. I guess I'll get more answers next interview. Maybe by then Stubby will remember his name. I'll have to floo Doris to set up an interview." He then pulled out his wand and levitated the two steaks that were now finished onto a plate they'd left behind. "It would be a pity to waste this."

-HULK-

At the same time, in a different country, a runaway rat had just found his real master and explained the situation to him. "Wormtail, we must leave at once for England. We must find Harry. I need his blood."

-HULK-

A/N I really don't understand why almost everyone has forgotten that in Half-Blood Prince, Dumbledore told Harry that the Trace was a myth created by the Ministry. I understand why people like Hermione and Ron believed it in Deathly Hallows, since the Ministry wanted underage people to believe it. Dumbledore told Harry that the Ministry only tracks locations, like 4 Privet Drive – places where there is a magical minor but no magical adults (which usually is muggle-borns). That's why Dobby could get Harry in trouble in Chamber of Secrets, and why the Order didn't use magic like apparition to get Harry out of his house in Deathly Hallows. Any magic performed there would've been attributed to Harry. The worst part is that Harry himself didn't seem to remember this fact in the seventh book.


	6. 6 Hulk Smash!

_Harry Potter, Hogwarts student, the Boy-Who-Lived,_

_fighting to save Hermione Granger's life._

_Then an accidental exposure to troll blood _

_alters his body chemistry._

_And now, whenever Harry Potter _

_grows angry or outraged,_

_a startling metamorphosis occurs. _

_The creature is driven by rage_

_and pursued by an investigative reporter._

(Mr. Lovegood, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.)

_The creature is wanted for breaking out of Azkaban._

_Harry Potter is in hiding_

_and he must stop the world from finding him_

_until he can find a way to control_

_the raging spirit that dwells within him._

**Harry's Ultra Large Kind – Chapter 6 – Hulk Smash!**

Amelia Bones was filling out a report when there was a knock at her office door. "Who is it?"

"It's me," said her secretary, a middle-aged woman with black hair and brown eyes. "I thought you'd like to see this." She then handed her boss a copy of the _Quibbler_. "The editor claims he spoke to Harry Potter." Amelia looked down to see the headline.

_Interview with the Hulk_

_By Xenophilius Lovegood_

_Yesterday, I was able to achieve a goal I've had for months. I interviewed Harry Potter. He was with the person he escaped prison with, who believes himself to be Sirius Black, when he is in fact Stubby Boardman, who was arrested due to a case of mistaken identity._

_Those of you who follow the Quibbler know that Harry's Ultra-Large Kurse causes him to transform into a huge troll-like creature, which I, unfortunately, didn't get to see. I did, however, learn that anger helps his transformation, since he warned me when my investigative questions began to agitate him. He and Mr. Boardman were camping out in a forest, but unfortunately apparated away before my interview was complete. Harry claimed to have no control over the creature, despite my pointing out that it has only ever helped him. For example, he was locked in prison, so the Hulk broke him out…_

At Hogwarts, a blond second-year girl was sitting by herself at the Ravenclaw table. The other occupants, as usual, sat as far away from her as possible. "I wonder why Daddy didn't take me to see Harry if he knew where he was," said Luna aloud to no one while she was reading her father's paper. Her expression became even more dreamy than usual. "He's so cute."

At the nearby Gryffindor table, another second-year girl, this one with red hair, was reading the _Quibbler_ as well. Ginny immediately got up to show the article to someone else. "Ron, Hermione, look at this!"

"What," replied her brother sarcastically, "Did the _Quibbler_ find a thrice-fanged wompy?"

"No. I suppose I'll have to read it to you since you obviously aren't capable of that yourself!" she retorted. "Mr. Lovegood interviewed Harry."

"What?" asked Hermione. "Are you sure that's the truth? The _Quibbler_ doesn't always…"

"Mr. Lovegood doesn't lie about who he interviews!" interrupted the second-year girl. "He just sometimes comes to…unusual…conclusions…and believes…the wrong people. But if he said he talked to Harry, he did."

"All right. I'm sorry," said Hermione. "Does he say how Harry's doing?"

"Not directly, but he is with Sirius Black."

"That murderer?" shouted Ron, gaining attention.

"Keep it down!" hissed Ginny. "Do you want everyone staring at us?"

Hermione looked thoughtful for a moment before speaking. "If Sirius Black is still with him, then that means he hasn't tried anything." She then reached for the _Quibbler_ from Ginny, pausing long enough for the younger girl to nod, and then took it.

"Or maybe he has Harry under the _Imperius Curse_," suggested Ron.

"If he did that," Ginny responded, "he'd have had Harry attacking everyone as the Hulk."

"Unless the curse doesn't work on the creature," suggested Hermione as she browsed through the paper, "but then he'd have attacked Black as the creature, since I would agree that it's seemed to do what Harry wanted, or at least helped Harry."

There was also one person who subscribed to the _Quibbler_ at the staff table, and he was reading the article. This person happened to be sitting in the headmaster's chair.

"It seems that Xenophilius Lovegood has accomplished what neither myself nor the Ministry has been able to, Minerva."

"What's that, Albus?" asked the Deputy Headmistress glibly. "Locate a four-headed dog?"

"Alas, no," replied Dumbledore, "although I'm sure Hagrid will be excited if Xeno ever does accomplish that. What he has done is to find Harry Potter."

"What?" asked Minerva, practically ripping the _Quibbler_ out of her boss's hands.

"Unfortunately, Xeno's particular brand of interviewing drove Harry and Sirius away to another hiding place."

"He's with that traitor, Sirius Black!?"

"He is with him, yes, although the fact that they are getting along does make me wonder about Sirius' guilt. He did, after all, have no trial, at Barty Crouch's insistence."

"There is no need for a trial with the likes of Sirius Black," commented Snape venomously. He was sitting on Dumbledore's opposite side, and obviously eavesdropping. "If you ask me, he should've been given the Dementor's Kiss as soon as he was arrested."

"This is neither the time nor place to discuss Sirius Black," said Dumbledore authoritatively. "The most immediate concern is locating Harry."

"If Mr. Lovegood found Harry once, he might be able to do it again," suggested Minerva, looking hopeful.

"Agreed," said Snape. "If finding that useless boy is so important to you, make Lovegood tell you how he found him."

"Alas, in order to get Xeno to betray a source, I'd have to do some despicable things I'm not prepared to do." He sighed. "What I will do, is prepare for my next meeting with Harry, whenever that is." He had, of course, received the letter from Hermione Granger about how Harry had been exposed to troll blood, and thanked her for it, but he had no idea of how to reverse that, nor did he think it was prudent to attempt to do so, at least not until Voldemort was defeated for good.

-HULK-

_Dear Miss Weasley,_

_Would you be so kind as to meet me in my office tonight at 8 p.m? It's rather important._

_Professor Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore_

_P.S. I enjoy chocolate frogs._

Ginny reread the note that had been handed to her at dinner by a first-year Hufflepuff boy for the eighth time that night. She'd hurried from the table to her dorm to retrieve the mentioned snack, wondering why he couldn't get his sweets himself. She supposed she should be thankful he'd asked for something she did have a stash of. She looked up at the gargoyle guarding the entrance.

"Er, Professor Dumbledore, I'm here," she announced nervously, looking around as if to see if he'd appear out of nowhere. "I've…I've got your chocolate frogs," she said unsurely while pulling two packages out of her robe pocket.

The moment she said the name of the sweet, the gargoyle turned aside, revealing a staircase that she immediately ran up, only to be stopped by a door.

"Come in, Miss Weasley," came the voice of the headmaster, just before that door opened, revealing the eccentric headmaster sitting at his desk. "Sit down."

Ginny cautiously approached the chair on the opposite side of his desk while she looked around the room. She saw various unidentifiable objects on his desk, along with a bowl of lemon drops. She also saw diverse books on his bookshelf. There was a staircase leading up to what was presumably his bedroom. However, what held her attention was the magnificent phoenix that she saw staring at her from its perch. "Hello, there," she said to the large red bird. It chirped in response.

"I think Fawkes likes you," said the professor conversationally. "Would you like a lemon drop?"

"No, thank you, sir," the second-year girl replied while sitting down. "I brought you some chocolate frogs."

"How extraordinarily kind of you," he replied with a smile, which faded after a few moments. "Were you under the impression that I requested them in my letter?"

"Er, yes, sir," she said with her head down.

With a twinkle in his eyes, he replied, "Quite understandable, Miss Weasley. However, I was simply giving you a hint at the password to my office."

"Oh," she responded while her face reddened even more than her Weasley hair.

"I certainly do not demand candy from students whom I meet with…However, the chocolate frogs are here, and they are so very delicious. Would you be so kind as to let an old man have one?" His eyes seemed like the hopeful eyes of a two-year-old as he begged for candy.

"Of course, sir." She then handed him one, which he promptly opened.

"Gotcha!" he exclaimed happily as he grabbed the frog before it could jump. He then brought the struggling snack up to his mouth and bit off the head. When he was finished swallowing, he asked his guest, "Aren't you going to join me?" indicating the other chocolate frog. She opened the package, and that one, as though it had seen its brother's fate, immediately jumped. Ginny grabbed for it, but missed. It landed on the headmaster's desk. He pointed his finger at it, freezing it in place. "I believe that may help, Miss Weasley."

"Thanks," she muttered as she grabbed her candy and began eating it. They sat there in silence until both were finished. The young girl was getting more nervous by the second, ideas about this being her 'last meal' going through her head.

"I'd imagine that you're wondering why I invited you here, if it wasn't to steal an excellent treat, aren't you?"

"Yes, sir," she replied softly.

"I'd like to talk about Tom Riddle's diary."

'_Here it comes_,' she thought to herself. She knew that her lack of punishment was too good to be true. With her head down, she said, "I know what I did was wrong, and will accept any punishment you…"

"No, no, no, Miss Weasley. I'm not trying to blame you for what happened. I want to learn more about the object. You did, after all, have it in your possession for several months. I may have it in my possession now, but all the magic in it is gone, due to it being stuck into a basilisk fang. Your brother was certainly correct and, in fact, heroic to do so, but it does prevent further study.

"Now, I'd like you to collect your thoughts while I see which card I've gotten." He retrieved his new chocolate frog card and exclaimed, "Wendelin the Weird! She's certainly a favorite of mine. It actually is quite enjoyable to be burned at the stake with a freezing charm in place, as she arranged so many times. I once did that myself." Ginny giggled at the thought of the headmaster setting himself on fire just so he could enjoy the tickling sensation of that charm. "Miss Weasley, do you think you could tell me about that book?"

Dumbledore had sufficiently relaxed her to the point where she could tell him all about the book's properties, confirming to him his suspicion that it was indeed a Horcrux. He worried that if Voldemort had left it in Lucius Malfoy's possession, it couldn't be his only one. He needed to learn how many there were, and there was only one man Albus suspected could answer that question.

After his guest left, he said to himself, "After I speak to Horace, I must redouble my efforts to locate Harry."

-HULK-

It hadn't been easy, but Dumbledore had managed to persuade Horace Slughorn into giving him the true memory of the night Riddle had asked his head of house about Horcruxes. He frowned at the thought of the implied threat he'd given his former colleague, about telling Harry Potter, now known as the dangerous weretroll, that he was holding back information. He hadn't mentioned, of course, that he was not yet in contact with the Boy-Who-Lived. He only hoped that the boy hadn't left England.

If Harry were still in the country, there was at least a chance that at some point, he'd end up in Godric's Hollow, specifically at the graveyard. If, as he now suspected, Sirius wasn't a traitor, he'd most likely take Harry to his parents' graves. Albus only hoped he hadn't already done it.

-HULK-

The headmaster was right. Harry and Sirius hadn't visited the Potter graves yet. Harry had wanted to on his birthday, but Sirius had thought it too dangerous. Now, in November, he believed that anyone who still held out hope for Harry visiting the graves would believe he'd wait until Christmastime. If they did, they were wrong. It was a cold evening, around 2 a.m., when an adult man and a teenage boy appeared in the graveyard, unknowingly setting off an alarm ward that had been placed there by one of the greatest wizards of the age.

"Their graves are just there," commented Sirius, pointing toward them. "I'll leave you alone for a few minutes, shall I?"

"Thanks, Sirius. I appreciate you taking me here." The boy slowly made his way to his parents' graves while his godfather browsed the other tombstones, including some from the Peverell family, as well as the Dumbledore family.

Harry looked where his parents were buried and said, "Er, hi mum, dad. It's me, Harry. Sorry I haven't been here before. I…lived with Aunt Petunia for awhile. I even went to Hogwarts for a few years. But, er, well, I've got an…unusual problem. You see, some troll blood got in me and now I…change…into a monster, whenever I get mad. Can you believe that? The Ministry put me in Azkaban." He sighed. "Maybe that's where I belong, but I can't stay there. The Dementors…make me very angry. I've been with Sirius Black. The Ministry put him in jail, too, and he broke out with me. He's told me a lot about you. He says you'd be proud of me, but I don't know." He took a deep breath and waited about five seconds while he held his composure. "I'm a monster, a dangerous beast. Maybe I should be put down, like that Umbridge person the Daily Prophet quoted says."

At the same time, Sirius was reading, "Ariana Dumbledore, 1885 – 1889."

"Alas, my sister died far too young," said the last voice Padfoot expected to hear. He turned around quickly, pulling his wand. "There's no need for alarm, Sirius. I'm not here to arrest you or your godson. I merely wish to speak with the both of you…about Voldemort."

Within ten minutes, the three of them had left Godric's Hollow and were in a clearing Sirius had chosen. It was not his and Harry's current campsite. The two of them looked at the headmaster expectantly.

"First of all, I want you to know that I accept the fact that the two of you are still together as proof of your innocence, Sirius. I hope to hear the true story of what happened, although first I'd like to speak my peace."

"Thank you for that, Dumbledore," replied Sirius. "And I am innocent. What do you want to talk to us about?"

"Harry, before you were born, a prophecy about you was given to me by Hogwarts' Divination professor, Sybil Trelawney. It says,

"_The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches...Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies...and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not...and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives...The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies."_

Sirius and Harry both looked shocked at that. It was Padfoot who spoke first. "That's why both the Longbottoms and Potters went into hiding. Both had escaped Voldemort three times, and both Lily and Alice were pregnant."

"You caught that, did you? Excellent. I can see your time in Azkaban hasn't affected your intellect. Good."

"But…how did Voldemort find out about it, sir?" asked Harry.

"A Death Eater overheard the first part of the prophecy and told his master. I have always interpreted that power to be love, because it was your mother's sacrificial love that saved you that night, ripping Voldemort from his body."

"Now, you're thinking it might be…something else," said Sirius with a smirk, "perhaps a not-so-jolly green giant?"

Harry's face reddened a bit at that statement. "Maybe it does have a purpose," he muttered to himself.

"Maybe so," said Dumbledore, who'd obviously heard him. "Although you should realize that it is our choices - not our abilities - that define us. You are not a monster, so I hope you haven't been thinking that."

"But now I have to murder Voldemort…if he ever comes back again?" asked Harry.

"My dear boy, there is a difference between killing and murdering. It's your reason for doing it. Voldemort has delved into the darkest of magics. He has killed for the pure pleasure of it. He tortures people for his amusement. He is beyond redemption. He has even severed his own soul into seven pieces in his bid for immortality. Killing him will be saving countless lives."

"What do you mean, he severed his soul into seven pieces?" asked Black.

"The darkest magic imaginable. After murdering someone, your soul will have a tare in it. This spell uses that tare to rip off a piece of the soul and place it into an object. As long as that object is in tact, the person's soul cannot go onto the next great adventure. The object is called a Horcrux. It's literally a piece of that person."

"Tom Riddle's diary," muttered Harry.

"Precisely! You are a good learner," the professor responded.

"That was one," commented Sirius. "You said there were seven."

"His plan was to have six Horcruxes, in addition to his own body. May I cast a quick analysis spell on you, Harry?" The boy nodded, looking confused. Albus pointed his wand at his forehead and silently performed the spell, and then a big smile broke out on his face. "Just as I'd hoped. You see, Harry, when Voldemort tried to kill you in Godric's Hollow, he accidentally made a Horcrux inside you, but somehow your transformation has removed it. Fortunately for Miss Weasley, you seem to have remained a Parselmouth."

"Yeah. That's why my scar hurt when I was around Voldemort in my first year?" Harry asked.

"Yes," confirmed Albus.

"That's good news," said Sirius.

"Very good news, indeed. I had failed at finding a way to remove Harry's Horcrux that didn't involve him being hit with a killing curse. I'm glad that Harry found a way."

"You mean he'd have had to kill me in order to die?" clarified an exasperated Boy-Who-Hulked-Out.

"I had thought of ways in which you might have survived it, but that was certainly a terrible risk," replied the Hogwarts headmaster.

"I'm glad we don't have to worry about it, then," said Sirius, wanting to change the subject. "What other Horcruxes do we have to find?"

"I believe that he made a Horcrux out of both a ring and a locket that once belonged to Salazar Slytherin, as well as a cup that once belonged to Helga Hufflepuff."

"So…Founder's relics?" asked Sirius.

"Yes. I also suspect he used something that used to belong to either Godric Gryffindor or Rowena Ravenclaw, but have no clues as to which." He took a deep breath. "I believe that he's hidden them in places important to him. For example, there's a cave I feel I'm close to locating, wherein Voldemort first tortured people with magic. His orphanage took a trip nearby and the students that accompanied his _exploration_ of the caves were never the same after returning."

"I'm sure that's a monumental day in his book," Sirius said disgustedly.

"I'm also going to explore Little Hangleton. It contains the mansion where his father lived and the hovel his mother lived in, as well as the cemetery where the Riddle family is buried."

"I think he'd have hidden one at Hogwarts, as well as Gringotts," said Harry.

"Why would you think that?" asked Sirius, while Dumbledore looked deep in thought.

"I think I understand him," Harry tried to explain, suddenly feeling nervous. "In some ways, we're alike. After living with the Dursleys…"

Sirius interrupted at that point, practically growling, "Who I still need to _repay_ for the _kindness_ they showed to their nephew."

"Now, now, Sirius. We must all learn forgiveness," commented Dumbledore.

Harry continued without comment. "Hogwarts was the first home I ever had. I think Tom Riddle felt the same way."

"I would agree," Dumbledore interjected, "especially since he manifests an obsession with the Founders."

"Exactly," agreed Harry.

"Why Gringotts?" asked Padfoot.

"Because having a vault there is, to me, symbolic of really belonging in the Wizarding world. I suppose he never got a vault of his own, but many of his followers have them."

"I never thought of it that way, Harry," said his godfather, "but that's as good a lead as any. We'd just have to figure out which Death Eater is keeping a Horcrux in their vault."

"While I currently have no leads on that," said Dumbledore, "I do believe I know when Tom hid a Horcrux in Hogwarts."

"When?" asked both of his companions.

"When I interviewed him for a teaching position."

"You what?!" again both Harry and Sirius shouted at once.

"I didn't hire him, of course," Albus answered calmly, "although the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher position has seemed to be cursed ever since that day."

"That's taking the rejection a bit far," said Sirius, actually chuckling about that. "I hadn't realized how sensitive Tommy-boy was."

"You think he hid a Horcrux while he was there?" asked Harry. Dumbledore nodded. "Where did he go during that visit?"

"Alas, I should have had him followed, but didn't. I do, however, know the route he took during his visit, which was straight up the stairs from the entrance hall to the seventh floor, to my office. If he did hide something, it would have to be on the seventh floor."

"That's a start," said Sirius. "I think you should handle that search since we'd be arrested on sight if we went to Hogwarts."

"Agreed," the aged wizard said with a twinkle in his eye. He then announced, "It's getting late. I believe I should be headed back to Hogwarts. Goodnight, gentlemen."

"Bye," said Harry.

"Night," said Sirius.

Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore disappeared with a small pop.

-HULK-

With a smile on his face and twinkling blue eyes, the headmaster of Hogwarts reached out and tickled the pear on a certain portrait. It swung outward, revealing a doorway. Albus stepped inside.

"It is being Headymaster Dumblydore," announced several of the house elves in the kitchen.

"Is you wanting your usual hot cocoa?" asked the nearest elf.

"Or perhaps a treacle tart?" suggested another.

"Both of those sound excellent. Thank you," Dumbledore replied jovially as he sat at the table they'd hurriedly set up. He took a sip of his cocoa before saying, "I have a question I'd like to ask you."

"Of course, Headymaster Dumblydore," they all enthusiastically replied.

"Do you know of any place between the stairway on the seventh floor and my office where one could hide something, so that it wouldn't be found for over forty years?" After searching the area himself, Albus had to admit he hadn't found anything.

"Of course!" all the elves excitedly proclaimed. "The Come and Go Room!"

"The Come and Go Room?" he asked, surprised. "I've certainly heard about it, but thought it was a myth. It's real?"

"Yes," replied the nearest elf. "and it is being close to your office."

"Would one of you be so kind as to show me where it is," he politely requested, "after I finish my treacle tart?"

-HULK-

After being shown the Room of Requirement, Dumbledore had no trouble locating the Horcrux, which turned out to be Rowena Ravenclaw's long-lost diadem, along with several historical artifacts which he intended to put on display once Voldemort was fully dead. He used Ron Weasley's memory of Harry opening the Chamber of Secrets to get there himself and liberate several fangs off the dead basilisk and had the Chamber cleaned up, with every useful part of the huge snake harvested. He also wished to allow tours of the Chamber of Secrets at the same time he unveiled Ravenclaw's tiara, even if it did now have a hole in it from a basilisk fang. He then began searching for another Horcrux, which brought him to the cave he was about to enter with Sirius Black and Harry Potter.

Albus was magically drying himself off from his swim while his companions were putting their brooms in their bottomless rucksacks. "I still can't believe you swam for it," said Sirius, chuckling.

"A moonlight swim can be quite enjoyable, although I admit that without a warming charm, December would not have been the proper time of year for it."

"I guess not," replied Harry, amused at the eccentric headmaster's antics.

"Now that I'm properly dry," Albus said, "let's get back to business." He then looked around, quickly moving his wand in a seemingly random pattern. "Ah ha. Here's the entrance," he announced, indicating a part of the mountain wall that looked the same as the rest of it to Harry. The headmaster pointed his wand at it, revealing a blazing silver archway that vanished quickly. "But how to open it…of course. Quite disappointing and crude, but certainly predictable." He then pulled a knife out of his pocket. "Tom requires a blood sacrifice."

"Then I'll…" said Harry.

"I don't think we should risk the Hulk showing up just to get into the cave," interrupted Padfoot. "I'll do it."

"No, thank you, Sirius. I've got it," said the headmaster as he pricked his finger and smeared a bit of blood on the wall. The blazing silver outline of an arch appeared in the wall once more, revealing the entrance of the cave. The blood-smeared wall vanished, leaving an opening into what seemed total darkness. "After me, I think," he said while lighting his wand. The others followed suit. After a few minutes, during which time Sirius unsuccessfully attempted to summon the Horcrux, Dumbledore located a hidden boat that Voldemort had left for visitors.

"It doesn't look like it'll fit all of us," commented Sirius, "So Dumbledore and I will go."

"I'm afraid that's not an option Tom has left us," commented Albus. "I'm afraid that the boat will only allow one full-grown wizard on it. I do believe that Harry, if he were an ordinary underage wizard, might've been able to join me. However, given his unique power, I doubt his magic would avoid detection."

"We're not letting you go alone," said Harry, getting an idea. "Couldn't we ride our brooms above the water?"

"Perhaps," said Dumbledore. "But be sure to stay well above the water with no light, and don't touch the ceiling either. You don't want to be detected."

Being extremely careful, Sirius and Harry followed behind the boat Dumbledore was riding until it came to a small island in the middle of the cave. During the ride, they'd seen that the water was infested with inferi. The only light on the island was greenish and coming from a stone basin that looked rather like a Pensieve. It was full of an emerald liquid emanating a phosphorescent glow.

"What is it?" asked Harry quietly.

"I am not sure," said Dumbledore. "Something more worrisome than blood and bodies, however."

"Be careful," said Sirius as Dumbledore reached out his hand toward the surface of the potion. However, the aged professor demonstrated that none of them could touch it and then revealed Voldemort's method of getting to the bottom of the basin, where the Horcrux was hidden.

"I can only conclude that this potion is supposed to be drunk."

Sirius swore. "That's crazy! There's got to be another way."

"I'm afraid, Sirius, that there is no other method. I'm sure that the potion won't immediately kill me."

"I guess he'd want to keep you alive long enough to interrogate you," said Sirius thoughtfully.

"Exactly. Which one of you will feed me the potion, and keep giving it to me no matter what happens, even if I beg you to stop?"

"I will," said Harry, looking grim. "If you insist on taking it." He then handed his broom to Sirius.

"I do," said Dumbledore. "I'm proud of you, Harry." He then conjured a crystal goblet and handed it to the Boy-Who-Had-A-Different-Plan. Harry slowly lowered the cup into the potion and turned toward his former headmaster as though he were going to give it to him. Instead, Harry quickly brought the goblet to his mouth.

"NO!" shouted both Sirius and Albus as they watched him swallow it. It only took seconds before Harry's eyes glowed green and he started transforming. His shirt was quickly shredded along with his shoes.

"RAHHH!" the Hulk roared before tossing his destroyed shirt onto the island. He then tried to punch the basin, which managed to block him with an invisible shield at first. However, that only made the Hulk madder. He roared at the offending container and began punching it over and over.

"It looks like it's working," commented Sirius. "He's getting closer each time."

"Indeed. I think we should be ready for when he succeeds. Do you think Harry would mind my borrowing his broom? I suspect we'll need to exit much more quickly than we entered."

Finally, the Hulk broke through the invisible shield, his fists continuing on to smash the basin, causing the entire foul potion to spill to the ground, revealing a locket at the bottom.

"That must be Slytherin's locket," commented Dumbledore as they watched the Hulk leap into the water.

Padfoot swore again while Albus quickly grabbed the locket, placed it in his pocket, and mounted Harry's broom. Sirius silently joined him just as the Hulk jumped out of the water with several inferi holding onto him. They watched him rip them apart one-by-one as they flew toward the exit. The Hulk made his final leap out of the water. After smashing the inferi that had come up with him, he made his own doorway out of the cave, which Dumbledore and Padfoot followed him through. Then the Hulk turned around and started punching the mountain itself, over and over until causing it to collapse and destroy the cave.

After the cave was destroyed, the Hulk sat down and changed back into Harry. He opened his eyes and looked around. "Did we get the Horcrux?"

"Harry," said Sirius, "that was the single most irresponsible thing I've ever seen you do!"

"I figured that Voldemort didn't have me in mind when he made that potion, so I had the best chance at surviving it. Did we get the Horcrux?"

"I'm afraid that I must agree with Sirius that what you did was quite reckless, Harry," said Dumbledore, reaching into his pocket.

"Fine, but did we get the…"

"Yes," said Dumbledore, pulling out the locket, before opening it and saying, "No."

"What?" asked both Harry and Sirius at once.

"This is a fake. It has a note written by someone who identifies himself as R.A.B."

"R.A.B?" asked Padfoot. "Let me see that." He took the note from Dumbledore and looked at it. He suddenly smiled. "I guess he turned on Voldemort, after all. This was written by my brother, Regulus."

"Really?" asked Harry, surprised. "The one who became a Death Eater?"

"Yeah. Kreacher!"

A house elf popped in front of Sirius. "Master Sirius Black?" he said, quite surprised.

"So, you are alive?" asked Padfoot, who hadn't called on the Black family elf since he was sixteen.

"Alive to see the horrid day when Kreacher's poor mistress died and her blood traitor son Sirius became the head of this once glorious house," he replied.

"Have you seen this locket," shouted Sirius, already getting angry at the elf.

"Y-y-yes, Master Sirius," the elf answered. It then looked around and realized where it was. "You is destroying the cave?"

"How do you know about the cave?" asked Padfoot.

Kreacher then told a story of how Voldemort had borrowed him from Regulus to test the cave's defenses, leaving Kreacher for dead in the process, and that when Regulus found out about it, he'd gone to the cave himself and ended up dying in that cave, ordering Kreacher to destroy the locket. However, he'd so far been unable to fulfill that order.

"Would you like to do that, now?" asked Sirius. The elf nodded eagerly. "Then bring that locket here." The elf disappeared and was back within ten seconds. Sirius pulled a basilisk fang (which Dumbledore had given both him and Harry) out of his rucksack and handed it to Kreacher, who immediately stabbed it into the hateful locket, not even giving the piece of Voldemort in it time to defend itself.

As the elf began doing a happy dance, Dumbledore said, "I suggest we go to Little Hangleton next, perhaps starting at the Gaunt shack."

-HULK-

"Not exactly a welcoming sight," commented Sirius as he gazed at the skeleton of a snake that had been nailed to the front door of the shack he, Harry and Dumbledore had come to investigate.

"No, indeed," agreed Dumbledore. "We must proceed cautiously." He then pointed his wand at the door, causing the handle to turn and it to open. "Follow me."

Harry and Sirius walked into the dark shack with their wands glowing, to see their former headmaster moving his wand about in every direction. He stopped at a particular spot on the floor. "Harry, would you come here for a moment?"

He walked over to look at what Dumbledore was looking at to see a small drawing of a snake. Albus said, "I've heard enough of Parseltongue to imitate the word 'open,' but it may be better to have a genuine speaker say it."

Harry cleared his throat, staring at the eyes, and hissed '_open'_ at it. A glowing outline of a square about one square foot appeared on the floor. The snake drawing was in the middle of it.

Dumbledore levitated it with his wand, saying, "Thank you, Harry."

The moment the piece of wood started floating, Harry heard some hissing coming from it. '_Are you the great Voldemort?_' it asked.

'_Yes,_" answered Harry, wondering what defense he'd just bypassed when the floorboard replied, '_Then you know the counter curse._'

Harry then looked down to see a small black velvet jewelry box was sitting inside the now revealed part of the floor. Albus levitated it and magically opened the box, revealing a ring with a large black stone.

"The snake-face said there's a – DUMBLEDORE, NO!" At that moment, the aged headmaster was reaching toward the ring with his eyes looking eager. Harry didn't have time to stop him, but Sirius grabbed his hands before he touched the ring.

"What do you think you're doing, Albus?" demanded Black.

"Sorry, sorry," said Dumbledore. "I guess I got a bit too excited."

"I guess so," agreed Harry. "I was just saying that the snake face warned me I'd need a counter curse."

"Of course, Harry. I'll determine what it is." He then began magically examining the ring. "Yes, that's quite a nasty, not to mention lethal, curse. It would've been quite painful as well. Thank you both for helping an eccentric old man."

After that point, they had no trouble destroying the Horcrux, and Dumbledore insisted on keeping the now curse-free ring. Neither Hulk nor Padfoot disagreed.

"Now, all that's left is determining which Death Eater Voldemort would've trusted to keep Hufflepuff's Cup in their Gringotts vault."

"I've been thinking about that, Albus," said Sirius, his face rather serious. "I remember one time in Azkaban when Bellatrix was bragging about how much Voldemort trusted her. She said he'd trusted her with his most precious possession."

"Even if she doesn't know it's a Horcrux, a Founder's relic would certainly qualify as that," agreed Dumbledore.

At the same time, less than two miles away, the caretaker of Riddle Manor was being murdered for overhearing two very unusual trespassers discussing things he did not understand.

-HULK-

"Are you both certain?" asked Griphook. "We understand your difficulties in coming here, but I'm sure we can come to a different solution." Harry Potter and Sirius Black were in a private room at Gringotts, speaking to one of the tellers. The Goblin nation didn't care one way or the other about Wizarding law. They served anyone who had a vault, regardless of whether they were fugitives. They also wouldn't allow the Ministry of Magic to seize any assets inside a vault. That's how the goblins convinced all elements of the Wizarding World to allow them to be their bankers. All a wanted customer had to do was get into Gringotts and enter this private room. Harry and Sirius had snuck in under the Potter heir's Invisibility cloak. They had decided that if they were going to rob Bellatrix Lestrange's vault at Gringotts, it would be better for the both of them if they no longer had vaults there. Even if they succeeded in their mad plan, the goblins would probably never let them in the bank again.

"Yes, we are," said Sirius.

"Mr. Potter?" asked Griphook. He wasn't happy about losing two major customers, and was therefore giving them every opportunity to change their minds.

"It's just too risky for us to keep coming here to get gold," the Boy-Who-Lived replied.

"Besides," added Sirius, "this way we have freedom to move anywhere in the world, if needed."

"Very well," Griphook replied with a sigh. "May I interest either of you in a shrinkable bottomless trunk that has security features that allow only yourself to open it?"

Harry, feeling bad about what they were planning to do, decided to buy the trunk, even though he suspected they'd be charging more than he'd pay at the trunk shop. "How much?"

Not long after, a man was walking along just outside of Gringotts. He was dressed in tattered clothes and was smoking a pipe. He noticed the door open and then close by itself. That wasn't that unusual of an occurrence at the magical bank, but sometimes investigating such things led to profit for Mundungus Fletcher. He watched the ground and followed where the shadows changed, after quickly disillusioning himself.

Slowly moving under Harry's Invisibility cloak, he and his godfather were whispering. "Now that we've emptied our vaults, we're free to go on with the plan tomorrow," Sirius quietly said.

"Yes, but I do hope no one gets hurt in the chaos of our getaway."

"The Hulk barely hurt that Malfoy kid who cursed you. I'm sure it'll be all right."

"I guess so, Sirius." He sighed. "Either way, we have to rob that vault."

"Exactly."

Mundungus Fletcher quietly strode away, still invisible, and thought about what could be accomplished inside a bank that was dealing with an attack from the Hulk.

-HULK-

It was about 10 p.m. the next day when Sirius Black and Harry Potter invisibly entered Gringotts to rob it. They were hiding under Harry's invisibility cloak as they snuck around the lobby. Harry stared at the message written for people like them as they walked past it.

_Enter, stranger, but take heed_

_Of what awaits the sin of greed,_

_For those who take, but do not earn,_

_must pay most dearly in their turn._

_So if you seek beneath our floors_

_A treasure that was never yours,_

_Thief, you have been warned, beware_

_of finding more than treasure there._

"This way," whispered Sirius, despite the fact that they had a silencing charm on themselves. "There's someone getting ready to ride a mine cart."

The two of them hurried as best they could without being spotted, neither of them noticing that Mundungus Fletcher was in the lobby reading a newspaper, just waiting for chaos to begin.

Padfoot and Harry had an insane plan on how to pull this off. They felt they could find Bellatrix's vault easily enough, flying through the tunnels. Sirius knew the number. They also were aware of how to get into any high security vault. Harry had been warned of that during his first visit to the bank. When Griphook had been opening the vault that had held the Philosopher's Stone, he'd made a comment.

"_If anyone but a Gringotts goblin tried that, they'd be sucked through the door and trapped in there."_

Getting in would be easy. It's getting out that would be difficult. They were hoping that the Incredible Hulk would be able to smash their way out of the vault.

The pair managed to follow a man and goblin through the door that led to the tunnels before it closed and silently waited for the pair to take off in a cart. Once they were alone, both Sirius and Harry pulled a broomstick out of their bottomless rucksacks and mounted them. They put the cloak inside Harry's sack and disillusioned themselves. The cloak would've flapped all over, revealing them, assuming they could even keep holding it. They then began flying around the tunnels of Gringotts, looking for the correct vault. It took them hours, wherein they spotted more than one dragon, along with goblins and customers, but eventually they were standing visible in front of Bellatrix Lestrange's vault. There was a dragon near that as well, to which Sirius simply tossed a huge raw steak, which he'd brought for just this occasion, so it was leaving them alone.

"Here goes," announced Harry. "You'd better take my stuff." He then put his broom, glasses, shirt and shoes into his rucksack and handed it to his godfather.

"Good idea," agreed Sirius. Knowing the goblins, being sucked inside will hurt enough to cause your transformation. "As discussed, I'm going in first. Follow me after ten seconds." After Sirius had put his own broom and Harry's rucksack into his own, he put his finger on the vault door, pretending he was a goblin. It didn't take long before it happened. Harry stood watching as his godfather started swearing while being shrunk and pulled through a small hole that appeared in the door.

"How bad could it be?" Harry asked himself as he took a deep breath. "It didn't even set off an alarm." He remembered Griphook saying they checked the vaults every ten years for a trespasser, and decided he must have been telling the truth. "I think it's been long enough." The Boy-Who-Had-An-Unusual-Problem imitated his godfather and soon found himself being painfully compressed and sucked into the vault. He began screaming as the pain crossed the threshold necessary to summon the Hulk.

Sirius, who'd had no trouble spotting Hufflepuff's Cup, as it had been displayed in a place of prominence, had immediately grabbed it and was in the process of stabbing it with one of the basilisk fangs Dumbledore had provided when Harry emerged from the door. The process had been painful for Sirius, but left no lasting harm. Harry's skin was already turning green when he showed up, and his godfather forced himself to focus on his work rather than watch the amazing transformation. He stabbed the inside of the cup, causing a ghost-like image of Voldemort to appear above, only to scream in agony at its death. That scream occurred at the same moment that the Hulk let out an ear-piercing roar, signifying to Padfoot that the transformation was done. He quickly grabbed his own broom, knowing he'd have to follow the Hulk quickly once he got out of the vault. He said, "Okay, Harry, smash through the doorway and get us out of here," before disillusioning himself again.

"Hulk likes smashing," he replied before pounding on the door, which shook a bit, but stayed in place.

"Impressive construction," Sirius commented quietly. He didn't have a doubt in the world as the Hulk roared again and punched the door, which formed a large crack. It took three more hits before the thick metal door finally smashed in. An alarm sounded immediately. "Good job! Now climb up!"

Whether the Hulk understood him or not, he did begin jumping up and grabbing the sides of the cave they were in, causing a lot of damage. Sirius took off quickly behind him, hoping there wouldn't be a cave-in. The dragon seemed to be licking its claws, obviously making sure to swallow all the blood that had come with the raw steak it had been gifted. Once they got past that floor, Sirius could see hoards of goblins coming out of everywhere, axes and bows in hand as they tried to protect the bank.

Mundungus Fletcher entered the tunnels as soon as the alarm went off and the goblins started going after the thief. He jumped into an empty mine cart and managed to get it to move for a bit, before it stopped dead. He climbed out and began looking for a vault to rob.

When a goblin arrow hit the Hulk, it didn't penetrate his skin. However, it did annoy him. He turned toward his attackers, roaring, "Puny things!" before jumping at them, grabbing two of them and hurling them into more incoming goblins. He then jumped up to a higher level, roaring in victory. Sirius kept following, invisible and riding a broom, making sure to dodge any stray goblin arrows.

Meanwhile, 'Dung' was trying to blast his way into a low security vault with his wand. He didn't think he could get into a higher one, but hoped that his target was weak enough to open.

The Hulk jumped onto a floor that had an empty mine cart and grabbed it, hurling the vehicle at a group of twenty goblins running at him with axes. "Leave Hulk alone!" he roared before jumping up another level, still followed closely by Sirius Black.

The few goblins that were still in the lobby of Gringotts had managed to get all their customers out the door while they dealt with the thief. They were watching to door to the mine with their weapons drawn, ready to kill any non-goblin that came through.

They soon began hearing crashes and bangs, and then the floor itself was shaking a bit before the doors they were looking at were torn off their hinges by a huge green hand before being tossed in their direction. As they were dodging for cover, the Hulk ran through the doorway and busted the outside doors wide open. One of the goblins managed to hit him with an arrow that simply fell to the floor, without causing any injury. The green giant turned toward him and roared, before running out of Gringotts.

In the meantime, a team of goblins found Mundungus Fletcher trying to blast open one of their vault doors. He was just lucky he hadn't been successful; otherwise, he'd have been killed. As it was, he had to spend quite a few months shoveling dragon dung before they finally let him out.

Sirius was still flying invisibly, stunning any Auror that got anywhere near the Hulk. He didn't want Harry caught as soon as he changed back to himself. If the weretroll looked like it wanted to stop and rest, Black would tell it they were still being chased. Finally, when the coast seemed clear, Sirius let the Hulk rest. As soon as Harry transformed back, he grabbed his godson and apparated them back to their current campsite.

-HULK-

"Well, Wormtail, that was an interesting tale on the Wireless. It seems poor, innocent Harry has been driven to theft. I wonder how much he stole." The wireless had only reported that the Hulk had robbed Gringotts, not what he'd stolen or from whom. "Regardless, his blood is the only thing we need in order to finish our task."

"Yes, master," agreed his servant.

"We'll have to pay Xenophilius Lovegood a visit, and politely inquire how he found Harry's whereabouts." The Dark Lord then laughed, soon being joined by Peter Pettigrew.

-HULK-

A/N: At the Yule Ball in Goblet of Fire, Dumbledore said he had recently discovered a disappearing bathroom (which was the Room of Requirement). In this story, I'm assuming he was telling the truth that it had been a recent discovery, as opposed to lying so that Harry would hear about it.

P.S. Harry Potter and all characters, etc. belong to J.K. Rowling, not me.

The Incredible Hulk belongs to Marvel.


	7. 7 Abomination

_Harry Potter, Hogwarts student, the Boy-Who-Lived,_

_fighting to save Hermione Granger's life._

_Then an accidental exposure to troll blood _

_alters his body chemistry._

_And now, whenever Harry Potter _

_grows angry or outraged,_

_a startling metamorphosis occurs. _

_The creature is driven by rage_

_and pursued by an investigative reporter._

(Mr. Lovegood, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.)

_The creature is wanted for robbing Gringotts._

_Harry Potter is in hiding_

_and he must stop the world from finding him_

_until he can find a way to control_

_the raging spirit that dwells within him._

**Harry's Ultra Large Kind – Chapter 7 – Abomination**

As Luna Lovegood sat with Ginny Weasley on the Hogwarts Express, she was thinking about many things. The Christmas season was also mating season for nargles, so she hoped they would enjoy it, but she'd make sure there was no mistletoe in her house. Not that her father would ever allow it there, but she'd have to make sure no nargle found a way to smuggle it in. She also hoped that the yeti's enjoyed their Christmas. She also wondered where the muggles got the idea that Santa Claus used reindeer to deliver presents when it was obvious he simply used the floo, going from chimney to chimney. She idly wondered just how much floo powder he went through on Christmas Eve. Santa only traveled with his flying reindeer when he wasn't in a hurry, which certainly wasn't his busiest night of the year.

Her main focus, though, was why Harry had visited Gringotts and left as the Hulk. She so enjoyed looking at the photograph on the Daily Prophet, that she was able to ignore the actual article.

_The Weretroll Attacks Gringotts!_

_By Rita Skeeter_

_As you, my loyal readers, already know, Harry Potter randomly becomes a vicious troll-like creature. You also know that when he was placed in Azkaban for his own protection, the creature broke out, allowing mass murderer Sirius Black to escape as well. While other papers have asserted that the two are traveling together, this reporter has determined that they are separate, because yesterday, Harry Potter, the weretroll, robbed Gringotts Bank with a different accomplice. Instead of working with Sirius Black, he was working with Mandugless Fetchling, an upstanding citizen with a clean record._

_The weretroll escaped, leaving his closest friend behind to face the goblins' wrath. Fortunately for Mr. Fetchling, the goblins have elected not to decapitate him on the spot, which is their usual method of punishment. Obviously, they recognized that he was being coerced by the vicious weretroll. He will serve a prison sentence in Gringotts, because they refuse to let anyone involved in stealing from Gringotts get away with no punishment, no matter how minimal their involvement._

_What did Harry Potter steal, and from whom, you may ask. I did, but the goblins refuse to answer. They have, however, stated that Harry Potter is no longer welcome at Gringotts, unless he pays for the considerable damage he did to the bank during his escape. We can only imagine that he must have stolen something very valuable…_

"I wonder why Harry would rob Gringotts," said Ginny.

"I think he was investigating Minister Fudge's Goblin Pie conspiracy and got too close to the truth, that some of the goblins are part of it. They attacked him, causing him to transform into that beautiful creature…" She trailed off with an even dreamier-than-usual expression on her face. "Did you notice he's still wearing the bracelet I gave him?" She put her hand on the matching purple bracelet she was wearing with a contented smile.

Ginny looked down at the picture of the rampaging Hulk to see that the gold writing on his wrist was there, declaring he was still part of the _Fellowship of the Nargles._ "You're right. He hasn't forgotten you, or any of us. We can't forget him either."

"It's hard to forget him with such a wonderful picture. I'm going to put it on my ceiling."

"Er…okay," said Ginny, not sure how to respond. She commented on the one thing she was sure of. "You fancy him, don't you?"

Luna blushed, probably for the first time in her life. "Of course I do. You do, too, and so does every girl."

"Not every girl fancies him now," corrected Ginny. "I'm certainly still his friend, but I'm not sure I'd want to date a…"

"You think he's a monster!" Luna accused, looking meaner than ever before.

"No, no. I'm just…not sure we're…meant to be." She took a deep breath, trying to figure out how to calm her friend. "I'm not as comfortable with…different kinds of people or animals as you. Harry saved my life, as the Hulk. I'll always be grateful, and I'll always be his friend. I'm just not sure I'd be the right girl for him."

"Maybe you're not," Luna agreed, looking serene.

-HULK-

Before long, the Hogwarts Express had arrived at Platform Nine and Three Quarters, bringing the students home for their Christmas break. Ginny caught up with her family while Luna looked around for the editor of the _Quibbler_. He wasn't there, so Luna started walking toward the exit. When she was about five feet from it, Xenophilius Lovegood rushed through the portal and stopped in front of her.

"Sorry I'm late, pumpkin, but I just finished the new _Quibbler_." He indicated the paper in his hand. "I wanted to make sure our readers get to see the truth about Harry's Gringotts robbery." Luna then read what her father had written.

_The Incredible Hulk: Today's Robin Hood_

_By Xenophilius Lovegood_

_Other publications have insisted that Harry Potter must have had a nefarious purpose for yesterday's robbery of Gringotts, but I know different. He and Stubby Boardman would never rob a bank just to gain money for themselves. They were happily living off the land when I met them last September. I believe the timing of this robbery is the crucial key to understanding their motives. It is close to Christmas. Therefore, I won't be a bit surprised if many children from less fortunate homes find themselves with extra Christmas presents that weren't from Santa Claus. They've obviously stolen from the rich to give to the poor…_

"Daddy, I knew Harry would've had a good reason!" she exclaimed happily before giving her father a big hug. "It's great to see you!"

"And you, too, sweetheart," he said before kissing her on the forehead. "Let's go home."

-HULK-

It wasn't long before the pair was inside the Rookery, their rook-shaped house, decorating a Christmas tree as only a Lovegood could do.

"Please pass me some of the banana peels, dear," asked Xeno.

Luna, who had just placed one in the middle of the tree, handed three to her father and continued decorating. After she'd hung two more, the door to the Rookery was blasted open.

"_Stupefy!_" shouted Wormtail as he entered the house, catching the unprepared Xenophilius by complete surprise. He collapsed. Luna ran straight at the strange man, dodging a spell before kicking Pettigrew right between the legs. "Ouch!" he shouted as he fell. "Stop it!" he demanded when she kicked him in the head.

"That's for breaking our door" she screamed before punching him in the face. "That's for stunning my dad!" She prepared to punch him again. "This is for…" she said as he transformed into a rat and ran for the door. She followed after him, only to be stunned in the side by someone else once she'd cleared the threshold. She fell to the ground, unconscious.

"I see you met a superior foe in there, Wormtail," said baby Voldemort. "She was obviously a highly trained Auror, to get the best of you, wasn't she?"

"If you say so, master."

"I don't say so. I say that you are a blunderer, and that if I hadn't come with, it would've been you captured, and by a twelve-year-old girl, no less! Maybe this will teach you. _Crucio!_"

After holding him under the torture curse for a minute, he relented. "Now, gather up our captives before they wake up. I've got some questions for Mr. Lovegood."

-HULK-

Xenophilius Lovegood woke up to an unusual sensation. It felt as though every nerve in his body were on fire. He wondered if a pack of blothfiends had caught him. It was either that, or someone was holding him under the _Cruciatus curse_. He opened his eyes to find out. He saw the ugliest baby he'd ever seen, and he had seen a lot of ugly babies. This hideous baby was pointing a wand at him. He also noticed he was tied up. He decided to write something in the _Quibbler_ about parents letting their babies play with wands before the pain got to be too much for him. "Owwwwwwwwww!" he screamed. The curse then stopped.

"That is just a taste, Lovegood, of what you'll get if you don't answer my questions!" the baby yelled in a high-pitched voice. "Where is Harry Potter?"

"If you think I'll give up my source…OOOOOOOOwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" he said, while Baby Voldemort said, "_Crucio!_"

After the torture curse ended, Xenophilius asked, "What paper do you work for? I know you're not an Auror."

Voldemort actually laughed at that. "I realize I'm not in my best form, but surely you can guess who I am. Wizards still fear to speak my name, even all these years since Harry Potter caused me…difficulties."

Xeno's eyes bulged as he realized who this must be. "Y-y-you're You-Know-Who?"

"Yes, I am Lord Voldemort, and you will die very slowly if you don't answer my questions. Where is he and how can you find him?"

Closing his eyes and gritting his teeth, Xeno realized that this was the end. He'd always known that his dedication to always printing the truth would put him in a situation like this. "Never!" he declared. "You'll have to kill me!"

"Oh, I will, of course, but not until you've told me everything I want to know. I believe I will punish you a bit for your insolence before continuing this…interview." He then shot a series of mild bludgeoning hexes at Lovegood's face, breaking his nose and giving him two black eyes. "Wormtail, bring in our _other_ guest. I believe Xeno here is acquainted with her."

"No," Xeno muttered, hoping he was wrong about their other guest, but he wasn't. Luna was violently pushed through a door, with Peter Pettigrew walking in behind her. Luna didn't look badly hurt, although both her hands and feet were tied up and her mouth was gagged.

"It seems that our friend Xenophilius is reluctant to help me find Mr. Potter. Perhaps this will loosen his tongue." He then shot out the same hexes at Luna that he'd done to Xeno.

"NO! STOP!" he shouted.

"Not unless you give us Potter. _Crucio!_" When his spell hit Luna, her eyes went wider than usual as her body trembled. A muffled scream could be heard through her gag, and her bulged-out black eyes began releasing tears.

"Stop, I'll talk! Let her go! I'll get you Potter and anything else you want!" he pleaded while starting to cry himself.

"Excellent. I knew you'd cooperate. We'll release your daughter just as soon as Harry Potter is dead. Wormtail, show her back to her room." The rat kicked her, causing her to role toward the door she'd come from.

"Now, Lovegood, tell me how to find Harry Potter."

-HULK-

Pettigrew had to admit that he didn't understand any of Lovegood's logic in finding Potter, but as he looked around the campsite he'd just apparated into, he had to admit Xenophilius was right. He quickly turned into a rat and ran into the closest tent, happy to see that it was Harry. He really didn't want to deal with Sirius right now. The boy was sound asleep, so Peter quickly stunned him. It wouldn't be good if he woke up early and hulked out. He then grabbed Harry's arm and apparated them away.

-HULK-

"Ow!" said Harry as he woke up with a stinging sensation on his wrist. He realized immediately that he was standing and tied up. He was also wearing nothing but his elastic shorts and was cold, and his left wrist had been sliced. He could still feel his friendship bracelet on his other wrist as well. He opened his eyes and realized he didn't have his glasses, either.

He squinted to see someone shaking a dagger over a huge cauldron while saying, "Blood of the enemy, forcibly taken. You will revive your foe." Harry then noticed that blood was pouring from a stump that the man had for a right arm. He realized that this man had probably chopped off his own hand a minute before cutting Harry. That thought nearly made him sick as he squinted while looking at the cauldron. His mind went over what the man had said, and he could only come to one conclusion. Only one being would consider him an enemy and require some sort of violent, dark ritual. Voldemort. Then another terrifying thought entered the Incredible Boy-Who-Lived's mind. '_If Voldemort gets my blood, will that make him another Hulk?_'

The cauldron started bubbling and soon a black midst came out of the cauldron, forming into Lord Voldemort. He slowly began breathing through his serpentine nose as he ran his fingers over his head and shoulders. "Robe me, Wormtail," he said, and his servant put a rather large black robe on his master. Harry realized immediately who that servant was, and just the thought of what Pettigrew had done to his family was enough to make him angry. Very angry.

"Ah," said Voldemort with a smile. "I see you're just as eager as I am," he declared before his red eyes began to glow green as he changed. However, his skin didn't turn green. It was more of a yellowish hue. His back grew spikes that cut through the robe he was wearing, but not enough to make it fall off.

Luna and Xenophilius, who were tied up nearby watching, both thought that where Harry's alternate form was a beautiful creation, this thing Voldemort was becoming could only be described as one thing: an abomination.

"Raahhhhh!" shouted the Hulk, as he easily broke the ropes that had bound him to a gravestone. He then growled loudly at the creature that was transforming in front of him.

"This power is incredible!" growled the Abomination that Voldemort had become.

At the same time, Pettigrew was growing faint from his constant loss of blood.

The Hulk grabbed the tombstone behind him, which read (although he could not) Tom Riddle, and hurled it at the beast in front of him.

The Abomination caught it and broke it in half. "Come here if you want to fight!"

With a roar, the Hulk ran straight toward his nemesis, with it doing the same thing. Both prepared to punch the other in the face, and were both successful, causing each of them to fly backward, away from each other.

Peter passed out from blood loss.

The Hulk roared loudly as he got up and leapt back to where he'd come from. The Abomination was doing the same thing. It grabbed the Hulk in a chock hold. "Hulk will die!" the monster declared as Harry struggled. When it seemed all hope was lost, the Incredible Potter kneed Riddle in the stomach, causing him to lose his grip.

"Hulk smash!" he declared, putting both his fists together and punching the Abomination in the jaw, sending him hurling twenty feet. At that moment, a snake crawled up to the Hulk and tried to bite him. It couldn't penetrate the green skin, but did get the Hulk-Who-Lived's attention long enough for him to crush the snake's head with his heel. The Hulk then leapt after his main enemy, who was ready before he arrived. He didn't notice green smoke coming out of the dead snake, indicating the death of a Horcrux.

As the Hulk landed, it was into a waiting fist that sent him flying back the way he came from. Voldemort jumped after Harry and kicked him in the head. He then bent over the Hulk and started beating him with his fists. The Hulk then used his legs to kick the Abomination off of him, roaring, "Hulk kill Voldy!" He then ran at the Abomination, who got up and grabbed a nearby headstone and swung it at the Hulk. The Hulk-Who-Lived grabbed the headstone and busted it over the Abomination-That-Must-Not-Be-Named's head. Taking his advantage, the Hulk punched him in the face. At that moment, the Dark Abomination kicked the Boy-Who-Hulked-Out, pushing him away.

"Hulk, die!" the monster declared as he grabbed a sharp, jagged piece of the headstone the Hulk had broken on him and ran at his enemy, intent on stabbing Harry in the throat.

The Hulk, seeing what was going to happen, put his two fists together above his head and brought them down into the Abomination's hand, causing him to stab himself deep in the stomach. "Oooowwww," he roared as blood began to flow from his mouth. He fell over, dead only moments later. With no Horcruxes left to keep his soul on this plane, it went on to the next…adventure.

The Hulk let out a victorious roar before his attention was drawn away by a female voice. "Hi, Hulk. I really like to way your bracelet matches your skin. I also like your shorts. Would you care to free us?"

He looked at her for a few seconds before finally saying, "Lu-na?"

"That's right. Now, would you mind breaking my ropes?" She then shook her hands, which were tied behind her back, and the Hulk understood what she meant. He easily broke the rope for her. "Now, you should probably relax and change back to Harry. I'd like to talk to him," she said as she untied her feet and then went to her father. Neither of them had been healed from the bludgeoning hexes that had been shot at their faces. Their noses were still broken, and their faces were both full of dried blood. Luna was picking up Voldemort's wand from near Pettigrew's dead body when the Hulk transformed into Harry.

"Lu-luna? Mr. Lovegood?" He then looked around. "I guess I transformed. What happened?" He then realized one more thing. "I'm freezing!"

-HULK-

After a long talk, wherein Harry was informed, in between bits about how beautiful the Hulk was and how Xeno hoped no nargles were hurt during the fight, of how the battle had gone. The Hulk-Who-Won was wearing a bright orange robe that Mr. Lovegood had transfigured from a branch.

"I'd suggest that we all join you and Stubby before he awakens and worries about you," said Xeno, who, along with his daughter was now healed with his face cleaned up.

"Good idea," agreed Harry. "He's…" Before he revealed the location, Mr. Lovegood had Side-Along-Apparated both him and Luna to Harry's campsite.

Luna then randomly stated, "Hermione Granger is for some reason trying to find a cure for your blessing. Can you imagine that? Not wanting to become the Hulk?"

"Well, actually, ever since I found out I was the Hulk, I have wanted to get rid of it. But for now, I think it does have a purpose, so I don't want to be cured. There is more evil in the world than Voldemort. If he was this easy to beat, maybe I'll try my luck with other dark lords."

"I'll come with you," said Luna.

"Not when you've got school, young lady!" declared Xenophilius.

"I don't have school today," she said sweetly. "Which dark lord are we going after?"

"I-I don't know. I just thought about that. I'll have to find out about them."

"I can help with that," said Xeno. "As a reporter, I can investigate without arousing suspicion."

"Well then," said Luna. "If we're not going after a dark lord, we should probably just kiss."

"Kiss?" asked Harry, before the girl brought her lips to meet his.

At that time, Sirius walked out of his tent to see Harry kissing Luna while Xeno watched. The couple broke apart when he asked, "Anything I should know about happen while I was asleep?"

-HULK-

_Harry Potter aka The Incredible Hulk Stops You-Know-Who from Returning_

_By Xenophilius Lovegood_

_That's right, my loyal readers and friends, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named made an attempt at returning that was stopped by Harry Potter. My daughter and I witnessed the whole thing. We were simply hanging banana peels on our Christmas tree like usual, when…_

Mr. Lovegood wrote everything that happened in the graveyard, but not about them going with Harry to see Sirius. It may have seemed a bit dangerous for him to even admit he could find Harry if he needed to, but neither Minister Fudge nor the Daily Prophet believed him, and thought he was just making it up. He actually grew to accept Harry dating his daughter pretty quickly, since it was obvious that Luna was crazy about Harry. He even decided to start calling Stubby Boardman Sirius Black to keep both Harry and Stubby happy. He just worried about what would happen when Luna joined Harry on a dark lord hunt. After all, dark lords were even more dangerous than crumple-horned snorkacks.

**The End**

A/N I hope you enjoyed this little story.

P.S. Harry Potter and all characters, etc. belong to J.K. Rowling, not me.

The Incredible Hulk belongs to Marvel.


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